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Danielle
Silver Member
Wales
355 Posts |
 Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 2:35:57 PM
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I don't know if it's because I have been ill since Feb' and find everything hard work and a chore, but I just don't feel the same about my horses anymore.
I have been toying with the idea of selling one of them and only having 2 to make things easier for me. Only problem is that I have one hell of a conscience and don't believe in selling on.
I still love the boys but find them hard work, we had terrible weather this year and it's cold and yuk and I find myself wishing I didn't have them at all sometimes. I haven't ridden since January.
In a nutshell I feel like I cannot be bothered and don't really want to ride anymore, I would keep the little one and Storm as pets I don't think they'd ind, but they're such a tie. I feel quite down about everything and cannot see a way around things, I felt a little like this before I got ill too.
I long for the days when I was young and wanted to fit in as much riding as I could and I didn't mind what the weather was doing etc. I used to ride all the time and for hours and hours.
How do I get my enthusiasm for horses back? Do you think I will? Am quite sad that the boys are being left in the field and not ridden or done anything with.
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ashabarab
Gold Member
England
1378 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 2:43:51 PM
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get some help
advertise for someone to help with the horses...if not maybe put them out on loan for a few months..give your selfs a break
also see your gp about how you feel...everyone gets down at times but as this has been going on for a while it could mean you are actually suffering from depression or maybe something else, which could be sorted very easyly
if you have a break from the horses you could well find this will help, and then you could get your enthusiasm back
good luck
ash
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leezee26
Gold Member
England
1123 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 3:24:51 PM
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| Oh Danielle, I know how you feel, I have had a rotten time if it too and my enthusiasm is nil...I know when I get on and ride I enjoy it but getting the impulsion to actually ride is the hard bit. I have 5 here, 4 of which are mine and like you my conscience wont allow me to sell. My oldie has a wonderful sharer, which helps a bit with costs and is good company, so maybe look into that. I know when she is about it does lift me. Definately put some ad's up, you never know. Chin up my dear, I know its tough, especially when you are on your own and feel lousy, but you have made it this far! Leighxx |
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Joto
Gold Member
855 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 5:12:21 PM
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Danielle, I know how you feel. I have 2 of mine up for sale, even with families help i'm finding picking out 16 feet and changing rugs just too much. Sadly, alothough theres been quite a bit of interest no-one has been to view yet.Some people have asked me to give them away to them.
Zara is a grey arab with white feet. if left out 24/7 she will get mud fever, especilly in this awful weather, so she needs stabling or leaving in a field shelter with dry floor for some part of every day. No one seems prepared to do even this simple task. I am considering what to do for the best for her. If I am unable to manage [ i need to go into hospital soon] I am going to have her pts rather than risk an uncertain future for her.
its amazing how circumstances can change so quickly, even only a few weeks ago this was iunthinkable, but with so few experienced people wanting horses, let alone arabs it might be the only option. sorry to be morbid.
Jill |
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clio
Gold Member
Wales
614 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 5:39:27 PM
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Oh Danielle so sorry to hear you are still having problems hun 
wish i could help being so close but iv had to send mine back up to x as not able to cope with her at the mo.
Im sure that the passion will return and in the mean time im sure they will be happy just enjoying your company.
As you say the weather has been terrible here but its not forever im praying for some sunny crisp days soon 
Take care hun and if you ever need help, if i can i will.
jan x |
   
*~* Crossleys RainDancer *~* *~* Ora El Masra*~* *~*Diesel*~*
www.riddenarabgroupwales.co.uk |
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Kirsty5278
Platinum Member
England
2682 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 5:49:41 PM
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I'm also finding things such hard work at the moment....
since a bad fall and two weeks in hospital I am still in agony... everything is so hard...
last night something spooked the pony and he kick his door down and got out into the field (I suspect the neighbours had fireworks and didn't tell me!!)
but now I have a broken stable door, half my roof ripped off my haybarn, bedding all over the place where i can't stop the horses running in and out and countless other jobs adding up...
So this morning i found myself sat in raz' stable crying like a baby..... I'm just so gutted, I hate my field and stables being a mess or disrepair but I really can't do it - which is really frustrating me - my OH wno't even help me secure the door....
here come the tears again!!! |
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Kirsty5278
Platinum Member
England
2682 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 5:51:21 PM
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| thinking about your situation... have you thought about findingg loan homes and take a year off.... ?? |
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joanna_piana
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3935 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 5:53:16 PM
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Hi Danielle
Sorry to hear you are feeling low. Sometimes if you get out of the habit it's difficult to get back in to it. I've not ridden since Shida died and despite having Ishara to cheer me up have still felt quite low and flat and no desire to ride. However last weekend I rode three times and it actually really made me feel better and I feel more enthused about life in general again. Difficult to explain but maybe if you could go on a couple of rides it might actually make you feel better and more enthusiastic again. Also if you can't cope with three then why not test the water with regard to selling, I know it's a bad time at the moment but if it's meant to be then the right person may come along. Hope you feel better soon, this time of year doesn't help with the dark nights and rubbish weather. |
      
Harthall Rashida RIP, Binley Ishara, Bouchan
Chorleywood, Hertfordshire |
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Joto
Gold Member
855 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 6:08:16 PM
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| its all so frustrating. people wanting horses seem to have disappeared. its not easy to sell or loan out anymore. and you hear such horror stories about loans going wrong. its very,very difficult to know what to do for the best sometimes. |
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natntaz
Platinum Member
England
2919 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 6:20:20 PM
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I think lots of us go through this, I do think it tends
to happen when we have to many, I love having two but any
more than that i find to much especially when trying to
keep house clean and do little jobs to make ends meet.
I will echo what others have said, look into maybe loaning
of selling at least to cut down, also do try to have a little
ride as i have not ridden consistently in years but this week
my poor gelding has come out of retirement and i have ridden
him gently for the last six days, I really had forgotten how
much i enjoy riding him. I am going to fitten him up and aim
at doing some rides and some showing with him next year and
will also show my filly I think we do get lazy as all the
work tires us in the first place riding is just a bonus but do
try to get back in the saddle and enjoy your horses once again  |
   
Natalie Pix. Essex. Tariq ibn Radfan and Taroub |
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mogwai
Platinum Member
England
2717 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 6:36:31 PM
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Sorry you're having a tough time  I have 4 this year for the first time, and it is tough!
Get some help, advertise for a sharer and have a word with your gp.
Take it easy
Ros |
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azraa
Gold Member
United Kingdom
1030 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 6:46:05 PM
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hi,
i felt like you do and i was ill, i didnt relise it till i went to the doctors,but life was a stuggle i couldnt work it was hard, i struggeled on till i had my operation then i leased 2 mares out and sent my colt to essjays and that left me with 2 shetlands and a gelding who lived out and my daughter looked after, 2 years on i feel 100% and on top form apart from the ageing aches and pains.
go to the doctor and tell them excatly how you feel(ie my fitness levels dropped so i could not do things next week what i had done this week), and get help with the horses.
good luck ,chin up
karen |
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Delyth
Gold Member
United Kingdom
1425 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 7:04:48 PM
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| Sorry you feel like this. I must admit I often loose my enthusiasm for it all but then it seems to instill itself and I'm obsessed again !!! Even with 18 ( adopted 1 for a month !! ) I still find them inspiring but I'm forever wishing my life away wanting the next generation. I'm making the most of them while I can cos in 10 years I doubt I'll be able to do so much !! Set yourself some goals and then aim higher !! |
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endurance arabians
Junior Member
England
46 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 7:06:12 PM
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| Hi i know how you feel i was the same a year ago i had a riding accident (i had a spinal injury) i was out of the saddle for over a year, i lost my confidence to ride as well as the get up and go to do my boys. In the end i put an ad in our local papper, feed store (mole valley) and tack shop, saying free loan/share to stay at my yard etc i was offering a Free share/loan all they needed was own riders insurance its suprising how many call i got (most prob because it was free) but this helped and i slowly got back into it, i still have the young girl down some weekends as its nice to ride out with someone. I know the weather doesn't help but you cant do anything about that sadly. I hope you feel a lot better soon and good luky |
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garnet
Platinum Member
2382 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 7:51:34 PM
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| You should see your doctor because it sounds as though you are depressed. I went through a dreadful time a couple of years ago and you don't realise how low you are because it gradually creeps up on you. When you feel better you may find your enthusiasm returns, as I did. Best wishes. |
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pat ww
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3459 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 8:23:39 PM
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| lack of energy also results from an under active thyroid, there are a mix of other symptoms too, like feeling the cold, dry rough skin, in women, heavy periods / early menopause, thin hair, look it up on the interent and if you think this could be a factor go and get a blood test. The treatment, a daily thyroxin tablet can produce a miracle cure overnight. |
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mad alice
Gold Member
England
854 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 9:47:07 PM
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Hi there, I know exactly how you feel. If I could have given up last year i would. We have four now, (five last year) a full time stressful job and Carol unable to do much as she was pregnant. When we lost the farm it was the last straw but 1 year on and lots of tears behind I am feeling much better. I really missed the targets that showing provided. When the wagon went all the shows went too. Still broke but have put a deposit on an old trailer, hopefully when that's paid for we are going to try to buy an old 4x4 to pull it. My nerves are shot at too, the horses frighten me to death, especially as they have to be in most of the time on the livery yard. The arabs don't do too well locked up most of the time, the welsh pony does even worse. My focus in the future is going to be my grand children and training the welshie to be a leid rein pony! Talk to some one, make your self ride occasionally, HoneyB got me through last winter, without her I would have given up
good luck with what ever you decide, giving up is a very honest thing to do and very brave, I guess I am a coward at heart.
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jasjmm
Gold Member
625 Posts |
Posted - 09 Nov 2008 : 9:53:01 PM
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I think its a winter thing too sometimes, although I appreciate you say you've felt like this since the beginning of the year. But everything is so much harder work in winter. I could chearfully hibernate until Spring (think I was a hedgehog in a previous life!) and I think SAD has a real effect for a lot of people too. I went two years feeling like packing it all in each winter (especially towards the end of the winter, when you've been mucking 3 out twice a day on top of commuting 2 hours a day and working full time - it all gets a bit much). If you have been ill as well, that's an incredible challenge with 3 horses. Well done for keeping it up so far.
I also know of at least one friend who just doesn't really want horses any more. What she wants out of life has changed, and I think that's fine. She would only rehome hers to the best of homes, but its not where her heart is anymore. Its not compulsory to be dotty about horses! Not having too many sounds very sensible. Its difficult to let them go, but there are good homes out there (unless they are all homebred, then we have all bought at some time or another!). Good luck and don't beat yourself up about it. |
    
Bristol |
Edited by - jasjmm on 09 Nov 2008 10:01:16 PM |
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SarahA
Silver Member
476 Posts |
Posted - 10 Nov 2008 : 12:20:31 AM
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| My goodness me, so may people feeling down in the dumps, me to unfortunately, i have no job, no heating, no hot water and debts coming out my ears, the job thing was my own choice, i just couldnt cope with all the stress, travelling and overtime anymore, my horses are my stress relief, so the job went first:) obviously i had made plans first, So sorry everyone is feeling so down:( but dont worry to much about your horses hun, they are designed to eat in a field and do very little else, so they will be stress free and happy little bunnys, thy dont care about a bit of mud or muddy feet, and i think its a complete human thing that makes us believe they need a job to a happy, i really think a sharer would help you loads, i know i cant be bothered to ride now, but thats because nobody else does at the yard, all the horses are either retired, or to young, so nothing to get me up and out and i know when i have ridden the most its when i have something and someone egging me on, chin up hun, i am sure that come the sunshine you will love having them around again, in the meantime, dont feel guilty, your horses will be fine and happy and eventually you will enjoy the lovely simple pleasure of a hug on a cold morning whilst warming your cold hands on the inside of their rugs. |
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Annie Oakley
Bronze Member
United Kingdom
175 Posts |
Posted - 10 Nov 2008 : 03:41:35 AM
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Hey Guys COME ON!!!
It's a grey time for so many of us!! The long dark days and nights of winter, the credit crunch, the extortionate fuel bills, corn and hay bills etc. etc.
We can all think how bad life is, but hey at least we are still batting!!Get Christmas over with and in the first week of January we will all see the days getting that slightly bit longer and the Snowdrops will appear and we can all look forward to Spring!!
It is always darkest before the dawn!! I have personally been in the deepest hole of depression and thank God, my friends and Citalopram, I have come through it and can now look forward. An horrendous divorce, the betrayal of so called friends, combined with poor health is deffo a recipe for "woe is me"!!. But come on, life is not a rehearsal and you're a long time dead!!
Find your inner strength, it's down there somewhere, even in your boots!
Life is precious and sweet and every day must be embraced and lived as if it is your last! Tomorrow is promised to no one!!
As a survivor of Leukemia,(under control but not in remission) depression and multi- phobias, I can speak from pure experience. If anyone would care to PM me maybe we can share our experiences.
After a recent visit to Cairo and seeing the poverty, both human and equine, our beloved horses are so blessed. They will not die for the lack of a mucking out or two. As long as their bellies are full and they know they are well loved, they are as happy as little sand boys!
A bit of mud or rain rash won't kill 'em and remember "things can only get better""
Love to you all ALs and keep smiling!!
Annie x |
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Montikka
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2653 Posts |
Posted - 10 Nov 2008 : 04:18:50 AM
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Sorry to hear how you're feeling Danielle.
It seems you are likely to be depressed, so see your GP.
I think some sort of sharer/helper would make your time with the horses more fun and sociable. I used to have mine at home and really lost enthusiasm through lonliness.
I have to work and have 3 at the moment and I am so tired I haven't ridden for a month.
Antidepressants, a good helper/friend and maybe one less horse would probably turn your life around. It did for me |
   
Louise, Warwickshire |
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jaybird
Gold Member
France
1192 Posts |
Posted - 10 Nov 2008 : 08:42:42 AM
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Hi
I know you guy's are not going to like this much but have you ever thought of just having one horse!! it's cheaper, you can always get somebody to do one in times of need, have holidays...have a break whatever you want, it's just so much easier, my OH listened to pleadings of just another one many times, he was firm in saying you can only enjoy/ride one at a time if you want another sell the one you have...that soon stopped me as I have always been a firm believer of keeping one as well as I can.
Beryl |
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Danielle
Silver Member
Wales
355 Posts |
Posted - 10 Nov 2008 : 11:19:18 AM
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Hello everyone, thank you for your words of encouragement etc and advice.
When I say I have been ill I mean I have been very ill and know what it is etc, been in hospital 5 times this year, I have a very rare stomach condition. It makes me feel very ill, faint and sick somedays. I am not depressed, just feel a little down about the horses guilt most of all.
When I have been in hospital it's made clear to me how I have absolutely no help with the horses whatsoever, I don't get a break from them. My OH had to do them for me you see, there is no one else I can ask at all.
I don't really want to loan. And there is only 1 I could loan, Storm has only 1 eye and won't let anyone else on him, he just goes mental if someone else tries to ride him, the little pony doesn't belong to us he's from a rescue centre and he's no trouble, there is only Dominik whom I could sell or loan. Problem is I don't know where he'd end up and I don't really want to upset the herd balance.
To top it all off Storm seems quite listless and lucklastre today, just hoping it was the bad weather last night that has made him a bit unenergised, i'm going to keep a close eye on him, and may get a vit and mineral supplement, think he would benefit from it, he could do with being brought in at night, but he goes loopy in a stable and I don't live where our fields are and you never know who is around so he'll have to stay out, but he should be in I think.
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SueB
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3218 Posts |
Posted - 10 Nov 2008 : 11:24:13 AM
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Beryl, I second your advice.
We have had rain, rain and more rain, I think a lot of us at some time feel like chucking it in. I suffer badly when it rains, my muscles and joints ache like so many of us who have spent their lives lugging water buckets, hay and straw about nearly breaking our poor old bodies.
My doc has no sympathy with we all the time I have the horses
When your body has had enough, (so he say's) it will tell you in two ways, either break down emotionally, depression and stress, or physically.
Before you get to the physical bit lighten your load with the horses.
Sorry to go on, but I speak from experience 
Also, look at some other countries and all their suffering, we can't do much to help only send money that very few of us have right now, but it makes you realise how silly we all are in moaning about owning horses which we don't have to own.
If you look at what it costs us to keep one horse for one week, it probably keeps a whole family going for a month in the third world.
Sell your horses and don't feel you have let them down, at least you can vet the homes.
Think how you can pamper one horse? special rugs, treats.
Hope you will feel better soon.
Just seen your post above.
Can you bring two horses in at night? sounds like they need stabling. You sound like you don't need any horses too. |
Edited by - SueB on 10 Nov 2008 11:28:50 AM |
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Danielle
Silver Member
Wales
355 Posts |
Posted - 10 Nov 2008 : 12:38:57 PM
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| No I cannot bring them in at night as I do not live there and don't know who is around they are far safer out in their field. With regards to you post Sue, no one needs to have horses it's something that some people choose isn't it? If I have just one horse it means going back to livery which he hated and I hated too, I cannot just keep him on his own that would be rather cruel after being in a little herd all his life! Just to say again I am NOT depressed I do NOT have a hormaone inbalance etc I have a rare stomach condition. |
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leezee26
Gold Member
England
1123 Posts |
Posted - 10 Nov 2008 : 12:50:21 PM
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| In an ideal world, I would love 1 horse but how do I choose between my four? I know I have to sell my youngster but the 2 people that came forward were not ideal so I have shelfed those plans until the spring. Wilkie is 24 yrs and I have someone who shares him, ok, it doesnt bring much money but he is being loved and used and as I said I get her company too. Piper I have owner since he was 4 months, and is now 8yrs and a mummy's boy. He has bone spavin and can be a handful to handle and Harley is my boy. I know I sometimes feel I really cant go on but when I imagine the alternative it frightens me silly! I guess its the shock of my split with OH and other rubbish this year and in a way, ,I felt jealous of the fact my ex could just get up and go, and I am here with 5 horses, 3 dogs, 4 cats numerous chooks, geese etc and I cant run away! Then when I turn the Tv on or log on and see other peoples suffering I think to myself, Girl you have so much to be thankful for, yes money's tight, yes your hearts heavy but look what you have got!!!! Joto, I'm sorry your having a rough time and I pray that you can find someone for Zara, but I applaud you for thinking of her and not passing her on cheaply. Big hugs to everyone who feels down at the moment. Leighx |
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