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mittens
Platinum Member
 United Kingdom
2109 Posts |
 Posted - 20 May 2009 : 1:11:16 PM
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My OH is desperate to go away for a week to Wales in June. I HATE going away and leaving the horses and the cats especially as two of them are really old now and I hate missing any time with them. He won't go on his own or with a friend as he wants me to share it all with him... 
We went there two years ago and as nice as the scenery is I'm a bit "been there,done that". Last year we went to the Lakes and it rained all week and we argued every day and there's no mobile signal so couldn't ring home regularly to check all ok.I just felt so isolated.He wants to hire a cottage so basically I'll still be doing the washing up and tidying so it won't be any different from home! I don't understand why he is so desperate for me to go when he knows I won't be able to relax and don't want to go anyway!! Now I am going just to keep the peace which I think is unfair!! Surely he could go it alone if he's that desperate to be by the bloody mountains instead of dragging me along under duress. I just worry the horses will either get ill or worse.Am I being selfish or is he?
Not only that but I've spent most of our times away in tears about going anywhere but if I don't he'll be a miserable sod for the rest of the year and won't let me forget I've spoiled evrything!! REALLY peed off
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nrisby@btinternet.com |
Edited by - mittens on 20 May 2009 1:14:23 PM
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rosie
Platinum Member
England
3662 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 1:52:10 PM
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Ooh mittens, I do sympathise with you.
I thought I was odd as I'm also a person who isn't that keen on holidays.
We'll start a new club 'the stay at homes!'.
I'm lucky that my OH is like me so we tend to just have a day or 2 away. Thats enough for me.
Harder when the children were younger as you feel you 'have ' to have a holiday.Michelle now goes off with school, (Austria & Cornwall this year) & Martin with his girlfriend.
Advice: can you persuade him to have 1 year at home, the following year a holiday?
Or, if you are going to Wales, combine it with some stud visits!
Good luck.
Lisa |
     
Last picture courtesy of Sweet Photography |
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mittens
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2109 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 2:08:16 PM
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| Yep,definately a "stay at home-er"!! I tried the weekend break route but he needs his week minimum. Also tried the one on,one off idea and he always agrees at first but then needs to go away again despite saying he'll have a home holiday to decorate etc!! Really not looking forward to it and I'm not one of those people who can paint on a grin and pretend all is fine! I can picture myself sitting there with a roght face on for the whole week!! |
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Goldenmane
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4964 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 2:21:21 PM
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I never go anywhere!! It has been a long standing joke in my family that if anyone asks advice from me about an OH I say "divorce them!" I'm never asked now!! |
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mittens
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2109 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 2:24:41 PM
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| good advice!! It's so daft getting all worked up about it as everything probably be fine but the worry is there.Trouble is this argument is an annual event now and I dread it each time it comes around! |
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nicolanapper
Platinum Member
England
4247 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 4:57:41 PM
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Ladies, forgive me to what I am about to say. I am now finally coming to the end of an unpleasant divorce (after 20 years of marriage), Mittens, if you want to keep your man, give a little, otherwise I am afraid risk losing him. Sometimes I do feel we take our other halfs for granted. Do something for him, it should make you feel good to see him happy, if it doesn't perhaps you don't love him enough!!! Just a thought.
Nicky |
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mittens
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2109 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 5:43:32 PM
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| He spent the whole of our last holiday with a face like a slapped a**e because we weren't having nights of passion..... so even when he gets a holiday something has to be wrong,but yes give and take definatley!! |
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jacki
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
1988 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 5:58:26 PM
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go to judiths b and b and take horses with you that way they get a hol he gets a hol and you get to see horses every day and he takes you out for lunch and dinner its in wales you can sight see and come back to the horses every evening!
Just call me aunty! |
sittingbourne kent |
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Montikka
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2653 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 7:51:44 PM
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Perfect solution Jacki
I do feel for you Nicky, that was a brave post and sounds from the heart.
Dunno mittens, 'cos I LOVE going on holiday. As long as I know the horses and dog are well looked after I don't worry at all once I've got over the panic of arranging everything.
I do agree though if your OH is going to sulk anyway - what is the point? |
   
Louise, Warwickshire |
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mittens
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2109 Posts |
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jacki
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
1988 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 8:05:28 PM
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| mittens will pm you just googled and..... could it be the same place? |
sittingbourne kent |
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Kash
Platinum Member
England
3777 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 8:18:14 PM
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Oh Nicky, I'm so sorry.
I hope thing's all work out well for you,
Lauren x |
      
Photographs by Emma Maxwell and Peter Grant |
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nicolanapper
Platinum Member
England
4247 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2009 : 8:40:45 PM
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Thank you Mittens, Mondikka and Kash. I am fine now and life is suddenly starting to look rosie again. Mittens, I didnt mean to be dramatic, perhaps Judith's B& B could be the answer, it certainly looks an amazingly beautiful place to go. Try your hardest to compromise, but don't put up with a sulky face, you will only resent it in the end!!
Nicky xx |
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