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rosie
Platinum Member
 England
3662 Posts |
 Posted - 09 Apr 2009 : 12:33:27 PM
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I run my own cleaning company & have a few domestic clients.
This morning I was at a flat which is warden controlled, so while I was cleaning the intercom came on ' Good morning Mrs ???, how are you today?', she wasn't very well & told them so.
Their reply - ' ok speak to you on Tuesday'.
How appalling!!!!!!!!
Luckily, for the lady concerned, it was our cleaning day today, so we offered to make her a drink, made sure she contacted a relation etc, but what horrendous care by this warden.
I thought she would've said that she would check on everyone else, then call in & see her?
Obviously its bank holiday, so no one is allowed to die or need help between now & Tuesday!!
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Last picture courtesy of Sweet Photography |
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jillandlomond
Platinum Member
Scotland
3586 Posts |
Posted - 09 Apr 2009 : 1:07:19 PM
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That is shocking!! |
    
Borders, Scotland |
Edited by - jillandlomond on 09 Apr 2009 1:07:43 PM |
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Roseanne
Moderator
United Kingdom
6708 Posts |
Posted - 09 Apr 2009 : 1:58:12 PM
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Care of the elderly seems to be a nightmare that gets worse as public spending's cut; care services farmed out to profit making businesses and the holes in the safety nets get bigger and bigger. Apart from anything it's the loneliness that is so awful for these people.
As a reporter on the local paper for 30 years+ I can see the huge differences in the ease that these people enjoy at a time when they should be having rest and relaxation, not worry, debt and insecurity.
One of these days, we'll start finding some integrity as a society again, stop being selfish and start realising that the only way to provide a humane, decent welfare state is to ask people for a tiny bit more in tax. We'll certainly want the benefits we owe these elderly people when we are old!! They deserve them now for all their work in building what we have today. |
Roseanne |
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Kazzy
Platinum Member
England
3335 Posts |
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Sushi
Gold Member
England
737 Posts |
Posted - 09 Apr 2009 : 4:26:39 PM
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| Surely that is the point of having a warden????? to contact a relative/doctor or what is the use of having one ? |
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bridie
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2395 Posts |
Posted - 09 Apr 2009 : 6:19:48 PM
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Disgusting!!!!! There is a programme on at 9pm tonight all about the companies that dont deliver the right service and neglect some of our more vulnerable citizens.
I hope your Lady is feeling better today.
Mandy |
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tamila
Platinum Member
England
2532 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2009 : 07:27:12 AM
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Did anyone watch the programme last night. I was horified but not surprised. The Councils take the cheapest and then the companies just make profits and to hell with the staff and clients. No wonder we are called 'broken Britain' by the rest of the world. Everyone is out to make a fast buck and it is disgraceful. This programme is bound to have been seen outside of this country.
I work as a medical receptionist and know that some of these care companies are very good indeed. Some of our elderly are very well looked after. We do have some families who take care of their own but they are few and far between. A lot of them expect the doctors, district nurses and receptionists to do their job for them. One thing I cannot understand and we have this problem is why their families do not take more care of their elderly as they do in Europe. The way families take responsibility for their older members in Europe is why when we retire to these countries the care provided by the government is almost non-existent. |
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Sahir
Gold Member
England
847 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2009 : 07:27:57 AM
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I am the Administrator of a private nursing/care home, I'd like to think Rosie, that having heard the conversation between your lady & the "warden" that you reported her to the relevant authority (CSCI)!! What a totally disgraceful thing to say to a vulnerable elderly lady. If she'd been employed by my company she would have been fired !!!
Elaine. |
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2009 : 08:04:49 AM
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hopefully this programme has brought to light the care in the community as it is sadley lacking, luckily most of the carers are kindly people but most are not trained to properly look after old and infirm people.
we had problems when mummy pat was nearing the end, she was in a lot of pain if moved ,and a lot of the carer's were too rough with her,although not intentially.
As for relatives caring for their own, thats what most do 23 out of 24 hours, but some things need help with, like lifting, dressing,washing and changing beds with the incontinent. this can be very upsetting for the patiant.
I lived a fair way away from mummypat and couldnt be there everyday although I was with her a lot the last few weeks of her life. I washed , changed her, dressed her, and did all I could to make her last weeks comfortable, the nurses called in once a day, the carers twice a day and between us we eased her end, but what of the old folk who have no one? |
   
www.dreamfield-arabians.com |
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vjc
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4952 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2009 : 10:26:16 AM
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| This is so very sad but unfortunatley all to common as well I look after my elderley mum who is 84 and uncle who is 87 and it is more than just cleaning and fetching groceries old folk need, they need a soulmate/friend to talk too as well. How many old dears are suffering physically and mentally trapped in their own homes? while age concern do a grand job we as a nation need to do more, after all we are going to be old ourselves one day! |
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Roseanne
Moderator
United Kingdom
6708 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2009 : 12:52:48 PM
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One of the things I find most despicable is the names they come up with - 'Care in the Community' worded as though there is a caring community of people out there who are waiting to offer help day in day out. What it really means is, we're cutting costs, not paying for old folks residential homes, and someone can race in and out within 15 minutes twice a day to get someone up and put them to bed. How horrible an existence is that for an elderly vulnerable person?
There's not much 'caring' in the system now; it's 'you can survive at home alone' and we'll check occasionally to see you're still alive.
Beware people, because the banking crisis is going to mean huge cuts in public services over the coming years, and that will impact on all the social care sector. The huge, greedy sums people in the finance sector have been taking as their 'right' have to be paid back now, and the people who are going to have to bear the cost in their lives are the weak and vulnerable.
I don't want to get into a political row here, but the Conservatives have already admitted that rather than raise taxes they want to cut public services. I'm sure they're not the only party who will find it almost impossible not to do so. |
Roseanne |
Edited by - Roseanne on 10 Apr 2009 12:54:57 PM |
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Grey Girl
Platinum Member
England
1554 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2009 : 1:23:50 PM
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Let's face it, whoever or whatever gets in next will HAVE to raise taxes hugely. Remember our beloved Gordon Brown got rid of much of our gold reserves so we as a country have NOTHING to back up our monetary system anymore. We are, to put it mildly, stuffed.
As for looking after one's own elderly: many people cannot even if they want to. Dealing with a physically dependant adult (let alone one with mental issues like any of the dementias) is very very hard. One's house often needs to undergo pretty major adaption unless you chance to live in an enormous place with lots of spare ground floor rooms. Most people work, so that would mean leaving a vulnerable adult alone for many hours. That's impossible if they have dementia (unless it's very mild). Carers in this country are in a desperate situation, whether they are caring for the dependent elderly, their disabled/sick children or disabled/sick partners. There is very little help, relief, support or comfort to be had.
Mind you, fair's fair: it's not much better in other countries; but here we no longer have nuclear families and we no longer have extended family living near by with spare aunties and things to lend a hand. You're on your own now.
Some people I know of have now taken in their elderly, frail, sick and demented mother as her entire life savings have now been gone through paying for her care home and the council won't pay for her to remain in a suitable home. As far as I can understand she would have been just chucked out onto the street. The family are struggling to cope because they all work and the old lady really needs 24 hour supervision and care.
It terrifies me.
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 Said the little eohippus, "I´m going to be a HORSE"  |
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rosie
Platinum Member
England
3662 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2009 : 1:25:55 PM
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roseanne -your quote
'There's not much 'caring' in the system now; it's 'you can survive at home alone' and we'll check occasionally to see you're still alive.'
- is just how I felt this call was on Thursday from the warden I overheard.
IMO the warden should have said she'll pop in a see her. Obviously that was beyond the call of duty? |
Last picture courtesy of Sweet Photography |
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Roseanne
Moderator
United Kingdom
6708 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2009 : 5:35:02 PM
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As the cleaner (and being a bit of an upstart!) I would have probably called the warden when I got back to the office/off duty, and asked if someone was going to attend to this lady. It makes me so cross! It must be awful to feel so abandoned as an elderly person. I know some in sheltered houses on the estates in the town where I live feel very vulnerable going even to the local shops. Perhaps we should set up some support services for the elderly with our new 2.5million unemployed??
Well done though Rosie, at least there are people like you who are keeping an eye out. Could you send a confidential letter to the county council social services department? |
Roseanne |
Edited by - Roseanne on 11 Apr 2009 5:36:11 PM |
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bridie
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2395 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2009 : 3:55:19 PM
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Here are two poems that say it all.......
"Crabbit Old Woman"
What do you see, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me-
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice,
I do wish you'd try.
Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is loosing a stocking or shoe.
Who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will
With bathing and feeding the long day is fill.
Is that what you're thinking,
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes,
nurse, you're looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still!
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who loved one another-
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet,
A bride soon at 20- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At 25 now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure happy home;
A woman of 30, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At 40, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;
At 50 once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own.
And I think of the years and the love that I've known;
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel-
Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart,
But inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells,
I remember the joy, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few- gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last-
So open your eyes, nurse, open and see,
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer-
See Me.
By: Phyilis McCormack
A Nurse's reply
"To the 'Crabbit Old Woman"
What do we see, you ask, what do we see? Yes, we are thinking when looking at thee! We may seem to be hard when we hurry and fuss, But there's many of you, and too few of us. We would like far more time to sit by you and talk, To bath you and feed you and help you to walk. To hear of your lives and the things you have done; Your childhood, your husband, your daughter, your son. But time is against us, there's too much to do -Patients too many, and nurses too few. We grieve when we see you so sad and alone, With nobody near you, no friends of your own. We feel all your pain, and know of your fear That nobody cares now your end is so near. But nurses are people with feelings as well, And when we're together you'll often hear tell Of the dearest old Gran in the very end bed, And the lovely old Dad, and the things that he said, We speak with compassion and love, and feel sad When we think of your lives and the joy that you've had, When the time has arrived for you to depart, You leave us behind with an ache in our heart. When you sleep the long sleep, no more worry or care, There are other old people, and we must be there. So please understand if we hurry and fuss -There are many of you, And so few of us.
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tamila
Platinum Member
England
2532 Posts |
Posted - 13 Apr 2009 : 07:39:59 AM
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My comments on relatives looking after their own is based on experience. I have worked in GP practices for the last 20 years and have been amazed at the number of perfectly capable sons and daughters etc who only live round the corner from their elederly relatives and still expect someone else to care for them.
I have come across those who want to keep their mother in her home as it would be worth a lot of money and if she went into a home that would be used up to the ones who expect you to fill in their forms etc as they feel it is not down to them to do so. Some relatives have even been known to call out a district nurse to help their father talk to the bank on the pretext that he needed help. with his medication.
Of course, there are many more out there who do look after their own. I have looked after both my parents and my mother-in-law.
I meant no disrespect to those who have cared for and are still caring for their relatives. It is very hard and tiring. |
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Sahir
Gold Member
England
847 Posts |
Posted - 13 Apr 2009 : 09:02:36 AM
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Bridie - I read your two poems with a lump in my throat - so beautiful & so accurate !!
Elaine x |
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
Posted - 13 Apr 2009 : 2:54:16 PM
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| thank for sharing the poems , they were very moving, it is true people look at old folk as though they have always been old, and forget they were once beautiful children and vibrant young men and women. old age is so sad |
www.dreamfield-arabians.com |
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Grey Girl
Platinum Member
England
1554 Posts |
Posted - 13 Apr 2009 : 3:21:31 PM
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| Deric Longden, in his book about his old mum, describes how when she went long term into hospital he put a photo of her as a young woman next to her bed; and how it changed how the nurses etc saw her: no longer as the annoying old bag but as a beautiful and clever woman. Just like that poem asks us to do. |
Said the little eohippus, "I´m going to be a HORSE" |
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margo
Bronze Member
233 Posts |
Posted - 14 Apr 2009 : 1:47:32 PM
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| Hi my father has parkinsons and as such needs care 24\7 . W e have carers three times a day and do the rest between us. That programme was appalling, i cried. Thank God we have found such a nice lot to help. |
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Roseanne
Moderator
United Kingdom
6708 Posts |
Posted - 15 Apr 2009 : 12:56:52 PM
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Bridie that's a lovely poem and so true. So many people say how they still feel 18 in their heads though they're pushing 60 or older!
We watched over my OH's mother in the old folks' home in the days up to her death and I realised how terribly important sympathetic care of the elderly is, and how much the whole area seems to be 'invisible' to most of us.
We're all so committed and so busy, it's difficult to see how one could manage today's life with a very dependent elderly parent to care for.
There's so much emphasis on box ticking in hospital care, schools, testing etc. There should be extra checks on care of the elderly. |
Roseanne |
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