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jacki
Platinum Member
 United Kingdom
1988 Posts |
 Posted - 01 Apr 2009 : 09:19:35 AM
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Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already
given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes,
courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now
the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport,
and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at
£180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone
buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry
companies or Eurostar.
No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do
is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'.
A few years ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown
Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local
law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury
£200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of
thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain.
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area in Historic Bedfordshire.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to
phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of
lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost
you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN!
Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France. Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.
Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'.
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sittingbourne kent |
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