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Kelly
Platinum Member
England
1571 Posts |
 Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 8:51:24 PM
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This will be long. I'm sorry, just need to let it out.
I've heard a lot of people say their arabs are silly until they're 8 or 9.
After today, I am seriously considering leaving mine in a field somewhere for two years (he's 6). I aren't certain I care if it's my field or not.
Ok, my opinion is probably slightly coloured at the moment due to his EXREMELY bad behaviour at our village show. In fact, 'extremely bad' doesn't even cover it. He was a menace. And I have NEVER had to say that about him before.
He rode there like a dream, and other than a few bits of yelling when we got there, behaved himself until after the in hand. Then he found a fat grey pony that he obviously fancied, and wouldn't shut up, had absolutely no manners, and got more and more worked up. Then the torrential rain started, and he got worse, kicking out with one or both legs, mostly at nothing in particular. I decided to put his saddle on and ride him, thinking it would give him something to concentrate on. Never put a saddle on him wet before. Won't do it again, either. He tried to throw it off, then when I got on, went to rear.
I gave up at that point, foregoing my other two (ridden) classes,and the clear round we were going to do 'for fun' (!). My mum led him home through the village, with him snorting, prancing, tail over his back, and threating to/kicking out at cars that passed a little too close for HIS liking.
I know that the most part is down to training, but I thought I'd trained him better than that. Perhaps I was wrong. He didn't listen to me at all.
I am so down and feel like a complete failure. Normally his manners are very good, but he acted like I wasn't even there. He just lost it.
I don't have the best nerves and am not the calmest person in the world, far from it. I may not have helped much to settle him down, but I certainly didn't cause the hysterics in the first place.
He is my dream horse, except when he behaves like this (never this bad before though). I do love him to bits, though it doesn't feel like it right now. Normally, he's sweet and gentle and laid back.
Reading this back, the answer seems obvious - he doesn't respect me and I need to reinforce that, with groundwork and more confidence in myself so he sees me as a leader. I just didn't realise we were that far away from that situation.
I don't want to give up, but right now, I don't want to be anywhere near him.
Anyone else been through this and come out the other end smiling?
I've had to apologise to my mum, and my lovely OH who came to take photos even though he isn't interested in horses at all. I got worked up myself and panicky and snapped frequently at both of them. My lovely OH has just gone back downstairs after coming up to give me a cuddle and say all the right things. My lovely mum took the horse off me at the show, came to help me with my garden this afternoon as she didn't think I'd want to be alone, and has just texted me to see how I am.
Any words of wisdom, anyone?
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Kelly
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georgiauk
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2605 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 9:02:52 PM
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I'm sure if feels like the end of the world at the moment but trust me it isn't. Like us they have good and bad days and days where the slightest thing upsets them (like us ) He is still quite young and if he hasn't had a great deal of exposure it's only to be expected that once in a while he'll blow his top. I've had the same thing happen to me....one week I literally had to drag 'pony' around the show ring and the next week he was explosive, no change of routine or diet needed, he almost knocked the judge over, in fact he was positively dangerous and I couldn't get out of there quick enough, come to think of it he traveled with a grey pony so maybe it's a colour thing keep arabs well away from grey pony's at all times lol
Chin up, it will get better and he will be his normal mannerly self again. Make sure he apologizes to you tomorrow, some serious groveling from naughty neddie will put the smile back on your face |
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Pixie
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
6586 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 9:17:38 PM
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Words of Wisdom.........
Tell you mum and your OH you love them. The love you very much.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
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Evie
Platinum Member
England
3513 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 9:20:24 PM
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You probably know the answer already, but I think going back to ground work and some schooling would be a good idea. Do you have a menage you can school and maybe have some lessons?
Sorry you had a bad day, hope you're feeling better about things soon. |
Bristol |
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Timberwolf
Gold Member
England
726 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 9:59:02 PM
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Hmmm!! This all sounds very familiar to me, a case of been there done that and came out the other end smiling... Things will get much better and easier for you and your horse. No words of wisdom for you. Just persevere it's a case of time and experience.
Sure you'll feel happier and more positive tomorrow when he's back to his gentle self. They all have their moments...
Jackie. xx |
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Kelly
Platinum Member
England
1571 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 9:59:20 PM
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Had posted a nice long reply, but the computer lost it!
I am feeling much better now after a nice hot bath (lovely OH came up with kettle and pan of hot water as it wasn't hot enough  ), and a nice cold lager.
Pixie, I have told my mum and OH that I love them, that I am very grateful, have apologies for being such a cow, and promised never to do it again!
Evie, you're dead right - we've been having lessons but they've dropped off at the mo due to my instructors circumstances. I've tried to carry the schooling on, but it's always easier with someone to focus you! I think it's the groundwork that needs it most though.
Georgia, it's nice to hear I'm not alone! And strangely enough, the only other horse that gets him going like that is a grey arab mare. And to a lesser degree (as he's used to her), his field mate - also a grey mare. Ban all grey mares, I say!!
I think it was a combination of things - the horses/people, the weather, the hormones (he was cut nearly 4 years ago, but was 2 1/2 then and feeling it!), and the evil bridle. I've had it adapted, and thought we were sorted, but apparently today we were not. So I'll give up and go back to the parelli halter, which he's great in. Most of the time!
Thanks again guys, I knew I could count on you
I'd still like to hear the 'it happened to me and I survived' stories though! |
Kelly
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Kelly
Platinum Member
England
1571 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 10:00:50 PM
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Thank you too Jackie, I'm glad I'm not the only one . I just feel very let down by him, but also that it's my fault for not preparing him properly. I'm not sure I'm actually to blame though, I don't think it was called for.
Tomorrow it another day - I hope he's in a different mood! |
Kelly
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Kirsty5278
Platinum Member
England
2682 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 10:38:09 PM
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i can just imagine how you felt!
Put it in a box entitled "hysterical moments" and let it go....
xx |
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Tahir
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4572 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 10:38:58 PM
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Trust me Kelly, it has happened to each and every one of us. You are most definitely not a failure.
Arabs have a superior brain, and a very advanced sense of humour.
I really don't know what the answer is for you, but just give your Mum and OH another big hug for being there for you, they are stars!!! When you go and see your boy tomorrow - treat it like any other day - forgive and forget, and start again, and try to stay positive - he will be a 'good boy' one day.
If you want to hear stories of the odd 'incident' I have had with my beauties, I would be happy to write a book!!! Remember that each incident makes you a wiser person - hopefully!!!
((((((hugs)))))
Carla, xx. |
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Mrs Vlacq
Platinum Member
Wales
3776 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 10:46:40 PM
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sigh.... we have all had those days!! But it is never nice... what is nice is the support you get from OH and mum 
My advice would be to do lots of different things with him (with and without company)... If you get stressy at shows, go to clinics, RC etc, baby dressage, pleasure rides, hire a school and have a lesson with someone really good as a treat to you both, variety will build both your confidence in new surroundings and cement your bond.
You called him Dream Horse for a reason |
    
- V Khazad - V Calacirya & V Sulime - Quarida(L) - V Boogie Knights - V Hamra Tofiq |
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Alex1605
Silver Member
England
290 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2008 : 11:06:34 PM
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((((Hugs)))) Horses are such fun aren't they ? :-)
Lots of helpful advice from experienced people already given, only thing that I can add is that maybe he was picking up on your nervousness and excitment of going to a show? It will get better - honestly :-) |
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Arachnid
Platinum Member
England
1872 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 08:25:54 AM
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| So glad to hear you didnt hurt yourself. Write it off to experience. I bet he'll be angelic next time! We had a slight issue with a shetland pony (Spider had never seen one before) at the last show we went to so I know what you mean - although he only made a bit of a fuss and he would have made a LOT of fuss two years ago. Also I dont know any arab horses who actively LIKE rain, so very tricky conditions. Spider considers it my duty to find instant shelter for him in the smallest shower. |
   
West Sussex |
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Goldenmane
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4964 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 09:17:37 AM
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| RAIN.....a four letter word to a lovely Arabian!! Chin up, loads of great advice already given! |
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Merlot
Platinum Member
England
3260 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 10:52:37 AM
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| No, don't give up. Tomorrow is another day. |
 photo by Eric G Jones |
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shah
Gold Member
England
1356 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 11:08:55 AM
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Well done for getting there in the first place and trying your hardest, that's what counts  As the others have said, you sound like you know the answers to your questions already. Don't give up, one day you will be smiling in the ring
Just wanted to add that my boy can't do ridden after inhand. If he goes well inhand and gets all excited it comes out as kicking out when we then ride, normally with one leg to the sides. I've never (he's 18 btw) been able to change that, it's just the way he is. So maybe try do only ridden or only inhand during your first shows and see how he behaves with that. Some arabs (I have heard of others than mine) just can't settle in ridden after being excited for the inhand show.
Good luck and don't give up - when you have been down the dregs with your horse you tend to come back stronger, better and smiling!! |
West Sussex |
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Silvern_Scepris
Gold Member
England
1084 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 11:23:22 AM
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Been there, done that . Andre hates dressage with a passion, that is when I will get the most interesting displays of of excitment and typical arab humour. He's even thrown my sister off in the warm up arena before, she screamed at me 'come and get your bl00dy horse now!! and we then proceeded to ping around the dressage test, spooking horrendously at every reflection of himself in the morror. . |
  
London/Essex Border |
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nicolanapper
Platinum Member
England
4247 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 11:26:45 AM
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Poor you Kelly, it is do disheartening when this sort of thing happens. My old horse sounded just like your boy, though she was not an arab. She was 6 when I got her and a dream to ride, but boy what a cow when it came to shows. We would get her off the lorry, and she would behave like a maniac. In the end, someone suggested that I took her off to a quiet corner of the showground and lunge her for a good half an hour. This I started to do, until all the kicking, neighing and screaming had finished by which time she had started to settle down. She was tired though, then I walked her round the showground for a good couple of hours. Then tacked up and she rode like a dream. Trust me, she too was a nightmare, and I was terrified that she would end up kicking someone, as her legs were flying everywhere. This was not instant but over the course of two or three shows, she gradually started to settle down.
I wish you loads of luck. By the way, my arab boy used to get terribly excited just before I used to ride him (just backed as a 5 year old), again my instructor suggested a good lunging session, which may seem harsh but it did the trick and took all the fizz out of him.
Nicky
p.s. sounds like you have a lovely Mum and OH. |
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Tahir
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4572 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 11:32:04 AM
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I just have to share a very funny incident at a show with my (sadly deceased stallion).
We took him to a fairly local 'All Breeds' show that had amazing Prize Money - yum!!! At the time I was 5 months pregnant with my 2nd child, so the showing was down to OH - who really can't see the point in parading a horse around a ring (sensible man!!!). To set the scene, we also had our 18month old, human son with us - not a good recipe for a show, and possibly not a great family day out!!!
Nevertheless, I prepared the stallion on the trailer whilst OH looked after young son. Stallion was very excited, he was a typical 'showman'. I put the bridle on, unloaded him and swapped the stallion for young son (after tying on OH's number). Just after we unloaded, the Heavy Horses in all their finery were called to the collecting ring!!! Well, stallion thought this was a very exciting form of 'bondage', despite the height of the exhibits, and entered the showring on 5 legs with every vein in his body showing. OH didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but thankfully, the stallion (always a gentleman) behaved impeccably, although he really did want to explode!!!
A real fun show, and I hope you don't mind my sharing it with you, and Kelly, just put your day down to experience and plan to go out again very soon, when I'm sure your boy will be an absolute angel!!!
Carla, xx. |
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Maramoo
Silver Member
England
447 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 12:02:06 PM
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Hi Kelly
I just though I would share a recent experience with you that may help to give you hope! Took my filly to show just to walk her round and experience it - it was her first trip out and she went mad-rearing, bucking, kicking and screaming. She double-barrelled my OH and badly bruised his arm (and desire to ever come to a show with me again ) and it was a really awful morning. On the plus side she travelled like an angel and did eventually calm down (a bit!).
Well I knew I had to bite the bullet and get back out there so two weeks later (yesterday) we went to a local riding club show. She was a saint - stood to be plaited for an hour in the morning (bit slow lol as out of practise!), travelled well and apart from one little strop walked round the show like an old pro. We entered the in-hand class and came second She was a star and I truly could not believe the transformation. Just remember that horses all have their bad days, particularly youngsters - I am sure this was just an off day - get back out there girl and so glad you have such great support x |
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Kelly
Platinum Member
England
1571 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 12:11:24 PM
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Thanks again guys. Thank you for your kind words and stories to help
I'm sure it would help to get out and about, but I can't face another day like that. If it is a steaming hot day for the next show in the village, I might potter up. But I aren't bathing, washing and cleaning tack for it! I have no transport, so we're limited to new experiences 
I have discussed it with OH last night, and explained that I am going to need to put a LOT of time in with Jack, and so my time with him will be shorter for at least a few weeks. We don't live together so it does make me feel a little less guilty about abandoning him! He can always stay at his own house if he doesn't want my early mornings (to get to work in time to flex off early to ride).
I managed to look at the beast this morning, and even stroked him ! Didn't start off well, I opened the gate to the field and shouted 'breakfast', and all 3 strolled up, the other two dashed through the gate and in spite of me trying to make Jack stop with my body language and a stern 'no', he cantered round me, plunging and defiant. So I followed him and sent him back out into the field. He tried to dash past me again, but I was ready for him and he stopped, propped and tried to go the other way. There I was again, and he stopped dead. I gave him such a look in his eye, and the look on his face was priceless - it was like 'bl**dy hell - she means business here!'
He then backed up when I asked him to, stood and waited, walked up to me and followed me when I asked (all loose, no headcollar). His attitude has cheered me up no end - there may be light at the end of the tunnel. Damn horse, he's never going to be 'easy' though!
Gonna have to find some new bridleways near us, the longest ride I know of is only 10 miles! |
Kelly
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Tahir
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4572 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 12:16:07 PM
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Be aware of his sense of humour, and use it to your advantage!!!
Carla, xx. |
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Eeyore
Gold Member
1181 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 12:38:16 PM
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He sounds like he has a similar sense of humour to my Nimah
Last time she had to go to horspital i was really worried because she has only ever had 2 homes in her life and never gets out into the big bad world or sees strangers.
I thought she would be really hyped up and difficult for the staff to deal with so imagine my surprise and delight when the vet phoned me up to say what an angel she was. The stable girls had fallen in love with her, she was sooooo easy to deal with and eager to please and never put a hoof wrong.
BUT, when I went to pick her up, ohmygod! She started screaming and spinning, body slammed the head vet into the stable wall, was kicking in every direction, sent a surgical trolley and equipment flying 
Luckily the vet was ok about it and after recovering from being winded against the stable wall said "oh she obviously feels a lot more secure and confident now she has her mum with her" |
Heléna
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geegee
Platinum Member
England
3682 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 1:21:25 PM
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Hi Kelly,
Just wanted to add to the good advice already given.....
Please don't take his behaviour personally. He was obviously extremeley sensitive to what was going on around him at the time. If you have never put a saddle on his back before, when wet, then this would have been a completely new feel to him. If he doesn't like rain, then this would increase his anxiety. As you have already said, you realise that you should have been a better leader. I agree, but Jack would have forgotten all about that and the next day would have been a new start. Horses are not calculating. The next time he saw you, the whole event would have been erased from his mind.
Horses are very forgiving by nature, so the least we can do is be the same in return.
I had terrible respect issues with Minuette and she has even knocked me out by running straight through me. Once we started Parelli, our relationship blossomed and she is a completely different horse towards me. She does see me as the leader but this can change on a day to day basis if I do not read her correctly and respond respectfully, but the right brained behaviour is not as extreme. The stronger our bond becomes, the more I can increase her comfort zones and the new experiences are'nt so daunting.
Rio Barrett has a very good book out called "101 Horsemanship Exercises". It is great for improving your groundwork skills. Once you have these, then the confidence will follow.
Keep going, it will definately be worth it.
Sorry for my long reply. |
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Kelly
Platinum Member
England
1571 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 1:38:22 PM
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Lisa, I appreciate your long reply, please don't apologise.
Normally, I would say that Jack, although naturally dominating, does trust me and do as I ask. You're right, I wasn't a very good leader yesterday. But his actions blew my mind.
He was starting parelli style (I say style, as it is Suzanne's unique way, incorporating alsorts), and he had lovely manners when he came. I don't feel they've deteriorated, but as he's got older, more confident and more testing, I don't think I've kept quite 'ahead' of him. We do play the games, but I must not be doing them right, as he gets very 'cross' - I think he finds them boring and doesn't see the point of backing up and moving over for no apparent reason! And he doesn't want to concentrate - lack of respect there.
I've tried to work out what Jack's 'horsenality' is, but he seems to be a combination, lol
Edited to add - just checked the 'horsenality' chart, and I have decided that Jack is a left brain extrovert 
I'll see how it goes over the next few weeks - may be back with a progress report/tale of woes! |
Kelly
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Edited by - Kelly on 30 Jun 2008 1:47:00 PM |
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baxter
Gold Member
England
1123 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2008 : 2:05:00 PM
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Oh Kelly, i know how you feel...
Aurran's been quite "wierd" lately ridden.... fine Canter and walk, trot is like a llama on skates. He's 9 but wasn't backed until 7.
Fossie my old anglo arab, now on permanent loan to a friend, is still badly behaved at age 16. He went into his ridden veteran class at a show on Sunday, and got asked to leave as he was too dangerous, he's not a danger but is very very silly and could have jepordised others showing, he took to rearing, caprioling and bucking all in the name of fun!
You are NOT alone is what i'm getting at.
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geegee
Platinum Member
England
3682 Posts |
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