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Judith S
Platinum Member
 Wales
15686 Posts |
 Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 2:08:40 PM
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The dog and cat diary
Excerts from a Dog's Diary:
Day number 180
8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 AM - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 AM - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 AM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I AM forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I AM capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I AM finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foAMy chemical called "shAMpoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I AM convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I AM certain he reports my every move. Due to his current place in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
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rosyw
Platinum Member
England
3756 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 2:26:43 PM
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Judith - this seems all too familiar!
Have you been speaking to my animals  |
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Lila
Gold Member
Netherlands
1097 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 2:29:21 PM
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how true this is, my cats are absolutely like that and our dogs, ah I rather not mention them. You see I am more a cat person if I had to choose.
Monique |
M. Lankhaar |
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Pasha
Platinum Member
England
3622 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 3:25:21 PM
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| I've seen this before but makes me smile every time I read it!! |
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Nikkisian89
Silver Member
England
292 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 4:56:08 PM
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| Haha, i love the cat diary...smart little craft creatures they are...although i do admit, i prefer cats to dogs. |
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Honeyb060674
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4301 Posts |
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Zoe Tyzack
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4047 Posts |
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crinks
Gold Member
England
650 Posts |
Posted - 03 Jun 2007 : 10:39:33 AM
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| I have this one as well. Still makes me smile every time I read it, so true of cats though, sure one of mine is an assassin.................she lies on the stairs and trips up the unwary! |
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Sarahw
Gold Member
England
746 Posts |
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