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Pashon2001
Platinum Member
3575 Posts |
 Posted - 02 Jan 2012 : 7:35:36 PM
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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on:
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated:
'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics:
01. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.
02. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
03. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have
to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and
reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
04. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut
down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
05. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five
times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
06. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
07. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
08. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the
key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
09. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.
PS - We'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service'
in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how
to fix your car yourself!!!!
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carole ferguson
Silver Member
United Kingdom
457 Posts |
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barbara.gregory
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4531 Posts |
Posted - 02 Jan 2012 : 8:24:15 PM
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How true. Reminds me of a joke, or is it true.
A commuter helicopter was flying in New York in a thick fog and the instruments went down. The pilot saw a lady on a computer at her desk in a high rise block so he hovered near the window and attracted the lady's attention and asked her where he was as he was lost in the fog and his instruments weren't working. She replied "you are sitting in the pilot's seat of a helicopter". The pilot said "Thank you, Ma'am", turned the helicopter around, flew to his destination and landed. The passengers were amazed and asked how on earth he knew where he was from the lady's reply. The pilot said "Her reply was absolutely correct and totally useless so I knew it was the Microsoft building and I could then reset my instruments".
Barbara |
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Kes
Platinum Member
England
1819 Posts |
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Microsoft vs Ford
