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Roseanne
Moderator
United Kingdom
6708 Posts |
 Posted - 23 Jan 2010 : 11:58:50 PM
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A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas, coconuts and the few fish that he managed to catch.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore on a boat.. In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'
She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank a few months ago.'
'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a rowing boat wash up with you.'
'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made this boat out of raw materials that I found on the other side of the island.. There's lots of wood, palms and vines.
'But, where did you get the tools?'
'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'I found a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock. I used that for tools.
The guy is stunned.
'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walkway leading to an exquisite hut painted in yellow and white.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says cas ually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you,' he mumbles, still dazed. 'I can't take any more coconut juice.'
'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I've managed to ferment some alcohol. How would you like a Pina Colada?'
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a lovely fountain outside and I've made a razor out of tortoise bone..'
No longer surprised by anything, the man goes to shower and shave.
'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'Whatever will it be next?'
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?'
She stares provocatively into his eyes ...
He swallows excitedly and tears start to well-up in his eyes.....
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'******* hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports
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Roseanne |
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dreammagic
Gold Member
Scotland
641 Posts |
Posted - 24 Jan 2010 : 12:58:17 AM
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Ha Ha you would just punch him wouldnt you   |
    
Equine Photograpic 1st 3 pics, JPS EQUINE 4th pic |
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moatside
Platinum Member
England
3224 Posts |
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Montikka
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2653 Posts |
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buffy
Gold Member
Scotland
835 Posts |
Posted - 24 Jan 2010 : 4:22:26 PM
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Hope you don't mind me adding this one to the thread...
An old married couple in their mid-sixties are surprised one day when a fairy appears in their home.
"I can offer you both a wish" she said. Turning to the wife she asked her what her wish would be.
After some thought the wife said that she had always wanted to go on a lovely cruise around the world with her husband. Instantly, two tickets for a round the world cruise appeared right there in front of her!
The fairy smiled and turned to the husband who was amazed... "Right what do you want to wish for" she asked him.
The husband turned to his wife and said, "Sorry love, but I am going to wish for a wife who is 30 years younger than me!"
With a flash of her magic wand he became 95 years old!!!!
The moral of this story is that men are selfish bu**ers and that fairies are nearly always female!!
Sandra
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moatside
Platinum Member
England
3224 Posts |
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Meggie-Lu
Platinum Member
England
1519 Posts |
Posted - 24 Jan 2010 : 8:32:05 PM
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| I like this very much!! Haha!! |
   Danger Mouse |
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Roseanne
Moderator
United Kingdom
6708 Posts |
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Nut
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2838 Posts |
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Esstaana
Bronze Member
England
192 Posts |
Posted - 25 Jan 2010 : 10:40:25 PM
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| Hahaha, typical men isnt it :p |
   
Adh Esstaana
Wigan, Lancashire |
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pinkvboots
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3290 Posts |
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Men!
