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Caro23
Gold Member
 United Kingdom
617 Posts |
 Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 09:39:26 AM
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Last August I moved Gretel my 23 year old Fjord and Dulciya to my own small rented yard 5 minutes from my house and it is bliss! But Gretel's seperation anxiety has become increasingly bad to the point where I now don't want to take Dulcie out on my own. They have become totally pair bonded - Dulcie is actually fine about leaving the yard and just calls when left on her own, she relys on me a lot more for comfort. I have always put Gretel in the stable even at other yards when I have needed to leave her as she gallops up and down in the field.
Now she sweats, screams and goes backwards and forwards as soon as she sees Dulcie's tack on the door. No amount of human contact helps her and unusually for her nor does food. If I am at an endurance ride she will carry on for hours (also upsetting for the couple who own the property and whose house is nearby). I have tried short rides out so she knows we are coming back and she will hack out happily on her own.
Gretel suffers from a bad cough and was retired about 4 years ago with pedal bone problems - she's in gentle work now but is not enjoying hacking very much at the moment. She keeps losing weight through stress. So I know she needs to take life easy whilst Dulcie needs loads of work. 
I really don't want a third horse (not enough grazing) but should I consider a shetland or a donkey? When she retires she will need to be left and I adore my little Fjord and want the best life for her.
Any ideas would be gratefully receieved - she is breaking my heart!!
xx 
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Caro
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 09:45:48 AM
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Yes you should get a shetland , they dont need a lot of grazing, and your horse DOES need a mate when being left alone. herd animals by their very nature feel insecure alone, imagine in the wild how she would feel?, vunerable to preditors, ? she doesnt know we dont have lions lurking in the grass  . they NEED company full stop. food and human company dont do it for them , but with a little friend she will settle down and be happy. go for it  |
   
www.dreamfield-arabians.com |
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Caro23
Gold Member
United Kingdom
617 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 09:51:07 AM
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Thanks LYNDILOU, I am beginning to think a little tiny addition might be the answer for her - she was a broodmare in the past and has very strong maternal instincts. When my aunt owned her from a youngster she had a shetland companion. Perhaps I could find one on loan?
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Caro
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Kazzy
Platinum Member
England
3335 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 09:51:48 AM
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Agree with Lyndilou.
I am having the same problem with mine when the girl I share the field with just gets hers out and leaves Kazzy on his own and he goes
beserk!! usually when I am not there which makes me more angry!!
part of the reason (Apart fromt he row I had with them all the other week) why I am leaving the yard this weekend.
It is hard when they become attatched to another like this, some dont bother that much but like mine and yours they fret and become
upset.
Janet |
     
Sunny Cheshire |
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angel2002
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2502 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 09:56:46 AM
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You could always try a goat
Friend of mine had one as company for their horse, he was great for keeping the weeds down and also went on the trailer to shows too |
Angel
Passion Arabians
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deebee
Silver Member
262 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 10:04:24 AM
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Definitely get a little one if you can - although of course it's not guaranteed to help as she'll have to bond with it! The main thing to do when dealing with sep anx (much easier to say and I say it a lot!) is to break it down into small chunks - as small as they need to be for that horse to feel ok. This may mean, from what you've said, that you have to take the tack to the stable - and then take it away again! When she's ok with this you can get Dulcie; then tack her up; then take her out the gate (and straight back in again) etc. etc. each stage needs to be taken slowly until gretel is calm about that stage. You could try putting a treat in a bucket to give her a good feeling about it.
What does Gretel do if you take her out for a walk? can she cope with that? If that's easier for her you could do that a bit, so that she gets used to the idea of being separate but in a better way for her - you'll still need to take the other stuff slowly but it may make it easier.
Of course, there's always ponies needing homes; try the blue cross perhaps? |
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Mrs Vlacq
Platinum Member
Wales
3776 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 10:11:56 AM
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| get a steady companion - an oap perhaps, and a stable mirror - has to be worth a try! |
    
- V Khazad - V Calacirya & V Sulime - Quarida(L) - V Boogie Knights - V Hamra Tofiq |
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BabsR
Platinum Member
England
2790 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 10:31:51 AM
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Please try an EQUINE MIRROR. We had a thoroughbred brood mare,(ex successful racehorse) now sadly deceased, who as soon as she came into the stable, would do all your mare does, dripped in sweat, screamed continuosly, rushed round the box, dug all her bed up.
We tried all routines..nothing worked Then we tried the mirror. We had a full sized one (they are highly polished steel, not glass)!! Think it was 5` x 3` Absolutely solved the problem Clare would stand by the mirror, lick her reflection and totally settled with her new "stable companion"....Bliss, an answer to her stress problems Happy Horse = happy Owner and her stable mate did not need to be fed
Babs
www.SunrayAngloArabianStud.co.uk |
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Caro23
Gold Member
United Kingdom
617 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 11:05:18 AM
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Okay am going to try the mirror first (have ordered one!) and then look for a companion for Gretel.
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Caro
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Offira
Platinum Member
England
1583 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 11:10:46 AM
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I had this with my mare when I moved to a very quiet yard with just her and the two boys. It really affected her and she became clingy if any of her two friends went out of sight.
She got herself in a right old tizz even when the tack was picked up or I went in with the other horse. I began to dread doing anything with the others and worked out elaborate strategies to make her feel secure but none worked, in fact she got worse.
The turning point for me was one day when she exhibited exactly the same behaviour when I walked round the corner and left her, calling to me and then obsessing over me when I returned. I realised that I was the key to this behaviour and not her friends but when I went out with one of her friends it was a doubling up effect.
The real lightbulb moment was watching the dog chap Caesar Milano - (odd I know but bear with me!) He was working on the same thing with dogs and was emphasising how the behaviour of the 'herd leader' (me in this instance) affects the security of the group.
Relating it to my girl, I was too closely and inappropriately bonded with her. *****-footing about trying to keep her happy and making a big fuss of her when I returned from rides actually reinforced the sense of insecurity in her eyes.
What I decided to do was keep a slightly 'frosty' air about me body language-wise from the moment I went to fetch them all in and not add to her growing insecurity by fussing her and reinforcing the bond.
I had to ignore her (very hard), carry on with what I wanted to do and never look at her, not do all the usual fussing and not respond to her fretting. She responded by quietening down.
I kept this 'frost' about me and continued to ignore her as I tacked the horse up and went out for a ride. Most importantly when I got back with the other horse I did not look at her or speak to her.
You would not believe the effect this had. She fussed a tiny bit the first couple of times but gradually got better and better - all the worry ebbed away from her. When she was completely quiet I would go up and give her a cuddle but with that air of herd leader greeting subordinate. She does whinney a bit when I go and the odd whinney when I'm out but not that demented calling.
I did keep to a clear routine as well so she knew what was expected of her and her place in the scheme of things. She is sensitive to change because she has only known life with me and the smaller quieter yard had made the pool of her life even smaller. The boys were not affected by their new yard because they have a more "up yours" attitude to life! 
Hope this mumbo-jumbo ramble is helpful  . What I am trying to say in a nutshell is that I found it was not all about her equine friends but the role I played in it all (isn't it always?). |
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 11:14:28 AM
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Amirror wont be out in the field please get a little shettie and give a home to another deserving amimal, Shetties get on with any horse and visa versa, I use my two sheiites as companions when I have visiting mares and they ALWAYS take to them , the visiting mares that is go one you know it makes sense |
www.dreamfield-arabians.com |
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Kharidian
Platinum Member
England
4297 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 11:50:45 AM
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Good suggestions - a mirror in the stable can definitely help, but a shetland sounds like a good long-term solution.
I hope you get something sorted.
Caryn |
Kharidian (Prince Sadik x Khiri)........ Alkara Cassino (H Tobago x Rose Aboud)
aka "Roger".................................... aka "Chips"
     
The first image is from an original painting by Pat Shorto.
South-East Essex |
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precious
Platinum Member
England
2253 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 12:25:48 PM
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give mirror ago if that doesnt work try and loan a shetland for a companion unless you are able to financially support a 3rd horse to buy.
good luck |
     
Gemma Thompson
Birmingham West Midlands
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rosie
Platinum Member
England
3662 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 12:54:04 PM
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Agree with a companion of some sort - shetland or goat.
My first pure Arab had a goat for company. She even came to the shows with us! Lovely pic of her in Lesley Skippers book' Inside Your horses mind' of my mare laid down with the 2 goats kids laid with her.
Good luck
Lisa |
     
Last picture courtesy of Sweet Photography |
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Gerri
Platinum Member
England
4211 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 2:17:21 PM
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| have to say the shetland companion is the best idea, I tried goats once......... kept getting out and the horse went with them sheep also make good companions as my friend has two sheep with her old horse but same problem as the goats........ maybe an aged shetti who needs a good home would be great and they cost very little to keep. |
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deebee
Silver Member
262 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 2:22:49 PM
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| Good post Offira! Yes dogs and horses are very alike - as are teenagers (if only I'd known that years ago...) |
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Caro23
Gold Member
United Kingdom
617 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 2:53:14 PM
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Interesting post Offira - my aunt gave Gretel to me when my sister died of breast cancer to help me get through it. She made all the difference but I have always had real emotional problems with Gretel that I am not like with Dulcie - Gretel really gets at me. I am convinced that Gretel picks up on this. I think that when the vets suggested that Gretel was PTS because of her laminitis I was totally traumatised about it and determined to see her through it. Because she recovered far better eventually she has become very precious. I also think that Gretel was affected by me getting Dulcie who demands my attention.
I know I get too emotional about both of my horses and they both know it! |
Caro
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basbob
Gold Member
France
1356 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 3:05:55 PM
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| I've the same problem. My mare is happy to be left, but my gelding, (who never calls when I'm riding him out), goes beserk when he's left in his stable. Funny enough my gelding is generally the bolder of the two. Anyway problem should be solved soon when number 3 arrives. |
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BabsR
Platinum Member
England
2790 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 3:34:29 PM
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Methinks, if the Mirror works in the stable, buy a second one for the field. Quite sure there is a good way to secure same to fence, possibly where she would normally stand when resting.
Shettie also a good idea and cheap to feed.......but also another responsibility, vet bills, farrier etc etc
Babs
www.SunrayAngloArabianStud.co.uk |
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GHALEEM
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2028 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 4:21:51 PM
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Hi Caro,
I also have this problem as its just my two at the place i rent. My three year old has always been fine, i just leave him with food and he doesnt make a peep. But if i leave my older gelding he calls and gets very stressed which is strange as he didnt do it when i had my other older gelding. Having said that when i move them to a strange place my youngster also gets stressed when i leave with my gelding even if there are other horses around.
I am quite lucky as i only ever ride the older horse or pony the youngster of the older horse. If i ever do take the youngster out alone its only for short periods as i am walking him in hand. When he is backed and i want to go out for longer rides and leave my older horse alone i will do lots of leave then come back.
Getting a shetland is not an option for me as my goal is to back my youngster and then ride out with my boyfriend so then the shetland would be alone.
As you said you horse is older and is more likely to be left alone for longer. Cant give you advice but feel for you situation |
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shah
Gold Member
England
1356 Posts |
Posted - 16 Jun 2009 : 6:11:29 PM
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| Caro - If you want to go down the Shettie route PM me as I know one that's looking for a loan home as it's lost its current loanee and need another home quickly! |
West Sussex |
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mazey
Gold Member
England
501 Posts |
Posted - 17 Jun 2009 : 4:47:25 PM
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I have this problem too, my 10 year old mare gets herself in a right state if I take my youngster out - he is ok staying behind if she goes out but not the other way round. I did borrow two minis for a while but ended up with one getting laminitis.
How do you managed to keep weight off minis if they are out on grass with youngsters who need different management. I ended up having to keep the mini in a penned area ouside the stable - so I ended up fraught trying to manage different grazing regimes.
What do other people do with minis? Lindylou how do you stop yours getting laminitis? |
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
Posted - 17 Jun 2009 : 7:03:22 PM
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| Unfortunately Mazey Mouse does have laminitis , so she has to have restricted grazing, she goes out in the sand school for a few hours a day with her daughter, and then they go in the field for a few hours, before coming in for the night, it is only at about this time of year, so we manage it quiet well. if she is really foot sore she has to stay in the sand school with a little hay, has a bute every other day until she comes good. she has been like this for years , as you say its a sad fact of life the minnie shetties get it a lot but we wouldn't be with out them |
www.dreamfield-arabians.com |
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cmj
Silver Member
France
383 Posts |
Posted - 18 Jun 2009 : 10:53:34 AM
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Offira - I just loved your post. This is really good advice and so right. I try to be like that with mine. My mare goes fairly ballistic about leaving the others when I first start working her after months of not working, eg raising foal. I just have to adopt the attitude of "well actually you are going to go up the drive to the arena with me on your back regardless of how much you scream, passage or buck about the others you've left behind". It only takes a couple of days and she is sweet as a nut and doing what is asked.
The problem with getting a littlie for company is that it is yet another one to look after/avoid laminitis with/pay vets bills etc etc. No problem if you have plenty of funds and time but not easy for those on a budget.
The mirror suggestion is very interesting and I should like to hear how it goes.
Good luck! |
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
Posted - 18 Jun 2009 : 11:19:01 AM
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I have to say none of mine would be fooled by a mirror, they are far too intelligent for that. minnies dont take a lot to keep and can come in useful lots of times , like when a horse has to box rest, I have even loaned them to people who's horses need box rest. I advocte having a companion as thats what I would want myself if I were a horse left alone
Think horses, think herd, then think helping a minnie find a home and happy horses |
www.dreamfield-arabians.com |
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Caro23
Gold Member
United Kingdom
617 Posts |
Posted - 18 Jun 2009 : 1:03:49 PM
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I am still hoping to find a mini pony for Gretel on loan. Luckily we don't have lush grazing and Gretel has had very bad laminitis in the past so it would be on the same grazing regime. I also have spare little stables from when the family I rent from had little ponies for the children.
I don't think actually Gretel will be fooled by the mirror - she is so hysterical (before me and Dulcie have even left her). It will still take a while to convince her that a new one is her new best friend. At 23 and being a wonderful friend I just want the best for her.
Shah - did you get my PM? |
Caro
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Seperation anxiety - being major issue!
