| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Michelle
Platinum Member
 United Kingdom
3197 Posts |
 Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 2:29:22 PM
|
Do any of you who have horses at home or have your own yard with no other horses/owners do the whole thing by yourselves?
I do and it's becoming more and more unbareable. I live in a house which has just a couple of acres on the back, so not a horsey area, and I have no one to help me. The only person I had moved away nearly two years ago now.
My husband helps when he is off work but he just wants to get the chores done and be finished 'so he gets some of his day' and he is not confident nor horsey, so he has no interest in actually helping me when it comes to the actual horsey things I need help with.
Just now I was stuck with my rather spirited two year old on the yard. I couldn't get her back in the box or in the sand school, she just when beserk and all I needed was someone to get behind her and wave their arms, but there is no one here.
It makes me really sad, it's like all the enjoyment is gone because everything is really hard work when you are on your own. I don't have anyone to help me when it comes to giving youngsters an education.... sometimes you just need someone to hold a foal for you whilst you do things like teaching feet picking up or rugging for the first time.
I've found myself in some dangerous situations as well recently.
How do you cope?
|
IIsis Arabians
www.iisisarabians.com www.ali-abbas.co.uk
      |
|
Report to moderator
|
|
|
loosefur
Gold Member
584 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 2:50:31 PM
|
Hi Michelle
If you read my post 'New Home!' you'll see I've just moved onto my own yard from being at livery. It is hard on your own but the alternative is livery yard hell, which is much worse. Up until a couple of years ago I rented another little yard but my landlord decided to sell so I had to leave. For the last two years I've been on livery yard after livery yard (well four to be exact!) and only through those experiences did I realise how well off I was with my own yard. Yes it can be hard and difficult when you need to be away, or when you're trying to do stuff with youngsters. But compared to being on a livery yard - where you have to follow other people's rules, take account of other liveries and their whims and fancies, queue to use the outdoor school, have restricted turnout, rubbish haylage etc etc - having your own place is a million times better. At the end of my time on my original rented yard I was as fed up as you and couldn't wait to get on a livery yard. It only took a couple of months to realise the grass is definitely not greener.
There are ways and means to get around doing everything on your own. Have you got a good local instructor - one who doesn't just teach riding but will help you handle the youngster? If you can afford it pay for one session a week. Could you advertise locally for help? When I was at college I couldn't afford a horse of my own so helped out at local stables just for the joy of being around horses. There are also freelance grooms who could give you some relief - perhaps pay them to do one day or one morning a week or just come and help you when you needed it. If you don't know any freelance grooms just ask at your local riding schools/livery yards etc - you'll find someone I'm sure.
I just wish I lived near you - we could help each other out! You have some beautiful horses btw. Don't be disheartened - it's the worst time of year to be doing horses, even more so because this winter has been so wintry. But you'll feel brighter I'm sure when spring comes along.
PS Also realised that you're in Essex - very close to Richard Maxwell... if you're having issues with your two year old why not get him over for a morning. He's fab with youngsters and might well fire you up with renewed enthusiasm... he's quite an inspirational bloke. |
Edited by - loosefur on 07 Feb 2009 2:57:17 PM |
Report to Moderator  |
|
|
joanna_piana
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3935 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 3:03:23 PM
|
It's hard this time of year even on livery let alone by yourself. I love being on livery although there will always be compromises to make as nowhere would be as you would have it yourself but I love the fact that people are always willing to help out and encourage each other in what they do. I'd love to have my own land and stables but if I was ever that lucky I would definately have a couple of liveries for the back up and it's fun doing things together.
Could you not have someone keep there horse with you in exchange for helping out a bit? |
      
Harthall Rashida RIP, Binley Ishara, Bouchan
Chorleywood, Hertfordshire |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
SueB
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3218 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 3:11:27 PM
|
Michelle, I know exactly what you mean. When John was away from home working some years ago now, I did everything on my own.
Just when you need another pair of hands with a foal or a youngster,no one around, it is not easy.
Try to think of ways to encourage your other half? is there any part of the horses he likes? play on that if you can.
I mastered the art of leading the mare and foal alone and made sure the journey from stable to field was safe and short. I used to tie the foal up when back in the stable, even with it on it's mum and picked up feet etc. Started early so it would learn early.
To get a youngster in the stable alone, I remember the problem!! have a lunge line and put a tie up ring in the stable, loop the line through this and then you can stand outside and haul the blighter in, or wave your hands to encourage!! hope you understand me? Not easy and would never do it again.
I had youngsters leap all over me, knock me to the ground and now in later life am paying the price for being trodden on, and knocked around.
Don't do it is my advice. Life is so short and your health and safety comes first. Imagine when your baby get older? doesn't bear thinking about.
Just keep a few special horses and have fun. Send them off to be shown straight from the dam and keep your stallion with someone else!
Radical advice, sorry. But I ache today more than ever. Look after yourself, wish someone had told me to stop and think! So glad I have John full time now. He loves doing the horses probably more than me at the moment.
Best of Luck. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Michelle
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3197 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 3:12:38 PM
|
The two year old isn't the issue, I mean, she was just being a cow and didn't want to walk through slush.... she just needed a broom up her butt but I needed someone to do it!
That's not really the issue, it's just the little things when you need a hand, you just need someone to 'hang on to that a minute' for you, you know?
I need a girl/lad like you mention, i did advertise here and locally but got no replies. I can't afford to pay and I have no room for a livery. I did go down the route of offering a reference to anyone at writtle who wanted some experience, but most had enough on their plate already, or no transport, and you need your own wheels to get to me.
I was at a livery yard for over 10 years before I moved here and I would never go back to one! It was fine but just cost too much money.... and I have more horses now! |
IIsis Arabians
www.iisisarabians.com www.ali-abbas.co.uk
|
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Michelle
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3197 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 3:21:24 PM
|
Hi Sue, yes, you know where I am coming from. Time is the main thing with my husband as he has an estate agents in london, which is a 45 min commute and at the moment, with the way things are, he has to work all hours including a saturday because they can't afford to pay someone else to work there! As you can imagine!
I also hate the winter, I get that SAD so I am always down about things when the weather is rubbish.
It is hard on your own.... whenever someone horsey comes I find myself getting so entusiastic as well, I love to do the horses whilst talking to someone who appreciates them like I do.... that's what makes it fun!
|
IIsis Arabians
www.iisisarabians.com www.ali-abbas.co.uk
|
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
pathannay
Gold Member
United Kingdom
938 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 3:54:39 PM
|
Hi Michelle,
I know EXACTLY where you are coming from!!! In the past I have had my daughters at home who, although aren't particularly IN to arabs, have always been there to help. I also ran a Livery Yard for a while so there was always someone there if I needed them!!
Since moving to Shropshire about two years ago I am in your situation - and I don't even have an other half to help at all!! My neighbours are great but you don't want to become a nuisance by asking for help all the time! I had two foals last year and it was then I realised how difficult it is when you are on your own!! Unlike Sue I have never mastered the leading mare and foal together situation!! and getting the two mares and foals into and out of the field and stable was a nightmare!!! The foals did not get handled enough (in my opinion) although they are fine now (one is sold but I still have the other one here). Because of this difficulty I now only have at home Aquarius (my old mare who will be 32 this month!!! and is a doddle to do anything with, apart from catch if she decides she doesn't want to!), Izzie who is quite easy but is in foal for this year and Rosie who is Izzie's foal from last year. These three are not too bad to deal with but when Izzie foals again my problems will return!
Karen from Woodbank Arabians only lives twenty mins away so can be called on if needed but, as you say, when you just want a pair of hands behind someone to get them in the stable there is noone there!! and you don't want to be a pest!
Winter is a trial with horses whether you are on your own or not but I know what you mean about enjoying them more if you have someone else working them with you.
I don't know what the answer is - I guess you have to carry on on your own and just organise yourself so if you know you will need help you arrange for someone to be there that day!!
Pat |
www.azizaarabians.co.uk |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
moatside
Platinum Member
England
3224 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 4:11:51 PM
|
I know how you feel - I am on my own with 4 - son & OH help at w/ends and in summer but in the week it is little old me!. It does get me down sometimes esp when the ground is icy and I am trying to get them out in the dark etc but the alternative is livery and I have more than had enough of yards to last a lifetime. My only advice is to take a deep breath when they play up and stay calm  getting satressy just makes the little darlings act up more.
Keep smiling it will soon be spring |
www.spanglefish.com/kasanarhythmbeads/ |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
cookie
Silver Member
United Kingdom
331 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 4:27:10 PM
|
Hi Michelle,
I dont suppose it is much help to know you are not the only one to feel like this.I had years of doing it on my own and like Sue said you just devise ways of coping.Not really much help but summer will be here soon!! (maybe)I also think if you suffer with Sad not a lot helps untill the sun is shineing.I hope you feel more able to cope soon,and I would certainly advertise loccally again.There may well be someone just left school and cant get a job who would be glad to get out for a bit.Just keep your chin up,it will get easier with the lighter nights!
jane |
j.e holloway |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
SueB
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3218 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 4:31:03 PM
|
Hi Pat !!...get the mare on your left hand side, long lead rope on her, then get foal on your right hand with a short lead. Push your elbow into the foals neck to encourage to move forwards, little by little this works. The mare may drag behind, or may be cussed and creep in front, but soon they learn. (Especially when you have burst into tears through frustration)
If you can organise a corral like pen at the gate to the field, you get them in this, let go of the foal and push them both through into the field. Second mare and foal do the same. Using the corral method helps bring them in as well. The corral does not need to be huge, just enough to house a mare and foal and turn around in.
Michelle, you must get some of those SAD light things. Have chocolate drinks, that is meant to help also.
You need to have Araby get togethers during the winter, they help enthuse us all. Go to each others homes for a natter and look at others struggling along, this helps
Knowing you are not alone with this problem helps so much too. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
pathannay
Gold Member
United Kingdom
938 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 4:34:13 PM
|
Hi Sue
You never know - YOU may be the one having to do that with Izzie and her Vervaldee foal as I am thinking maybe Monty might be her next husband - sadly didn't have the chance to use him on Ollie but maybe Izzie would do? What do you think of that marriage??!!!
Pat x |
www.azizaarabians.co.uk |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
NatH
Platinum Member
England
2695 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 4:50:37 PM
|
I'm in the same boat too.
I've always done mine on my own and although I confident handling them it really does help having an extra pair of hands sometimes.
The added disadvantage I have is that I work full-time and to try and fit my passion for horses round an eight and a half hour day at work is not easy.
I think this time of year makes everything we do with horses more difficult and I for one feel like 'throwing the towel in' on many occasions! But I won't all I've ever wanted is horses and I'm living that dream |
Natalie
Chapel Lane Arabians
    |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
SueB
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3218 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 5:01:26 PM
|
Pat, you know I love Izzy.......... she would have both John and myself to cluck and coo over her all day long. How long have I waited to get my hands on her.
Thinking of a really embarrassingly funny thing that happened to me when I sent a mare to a stud some years ago now. The owner was away and we went to collect our mare who had been scanned in-foal. All very proper at this place and I won't say where it is either.
We were met by the stud groom, he was charming and told us that he had to cover our mare all by himself as there was no one at the stud to help him when she was full in season. I got the giggles and John, as you know is fairly conservative walked off and left me, as I embarrassed him by giggling.
The groom corrected himself to say he didn't cover our mare, but he handled the stallion alone that covered our mare. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Cryapakah
Silver Member
278 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 5:09:29 PM
|
I have eight that I see to on my own evenings mon-fri and if I'm riding I do them all in the evening on the weekend! Its really hard work and usually takes me two hours to get them all seen too, but honestly I love doing it all so I don't bored or fed up.
Keep advertising! Someone should might come along to help. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
weirton
Gold Member
873 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 5:10:33 PM
|
It can be very lonely when you keep your horses at home without help. As you say just someone to enthuse with works wonders especially at this time of year.
Previously I had all my fencing re-arranged so that it was never essential to lead anything from stable to paddock and meant anyone could do my horses because they never needed to touch them. Any really stroppy ones could still go out if no help was to hand. I don't advise doing this every day but it certainly helped if I had a problem.
I have had great success finding help for odd times by advertising in the local shops and feed merchants. |
       |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
ashabarab
Gold Member
England
1378 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 5:21:12 PM
|
l have had this problem in the past, you just have to devise the solution by be 'clever'
but keep advertising and looking for help, l bet there's someone just around the corner from you who would love a chance to come and 'play' horse
a lot of people think they need to be experts to be around arabs...but really all you need is common sense....most of the so called 'experts' l have come across are useless anyway
in a few weeks we will have sun again and things are never so bad when the grass gets greener and the trees start to grow... l dread winter, everything seems to be such hard work...but suddenly it's over and l breath a big sigh of relief [until next year]
but things will and do get better...
just hang on in there
ash |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Acorn Arabians
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2052 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 9:16:48 PM
|
| I do all of it on my own, I like it better that way at least I know it gets done, the only time I may need a hand and it depends on the stallion is at covering time. I dont see the problem, if you are working one to one with them they should do what you ask of them without hesitation, all mine do. I travel to shows alone with mares, foals and stallions and it doesnt faze me. I enjoy my life with my horses and other animals it doesnt sound you do any longer.You sound a bit depressed if I may say, didnt you have a baby last year...perhaps its delayed post natal depression |
Edited by - Acorn Arabians on 07 Feb 2009 9:18:13 PM |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Michelle
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3197 Posts |
|
|
leighann
Gold Member
Scotland
512 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 10:18:32 PM
|
Hi Michelle
Dont get down about it we are all feeling the same way at the moment, the winter is hard and long!!
I too have the same problem we have 10 here at home and i to am looking for someone to come and give me a hand and that is not easy as you say, i aslo have 2 young children and we have our own business which keeps me busy there never seems to be enough hours in the day. I have a job advertisement in the job centre this week and have had 5 enquires in last 3 days so here's hoping i can find someone who a) can handle a wheel barrow and b) someone i can trust around my horses.
I am lucky as my husband helps me out alot when he is not working and i would be really stuck without his help.
Sorry no suggestions other than take a deep breath do what you can until your huby comes home for the jobs you need help with and try and enjoy your horses again - keep thinking spring is around the corner!
Hope you get some help soon 
Just a though but if you have a local college where someone is doing some horse managment courses they may be willing to help out to gain some experince around horses mabye worth contacting them to ask. |
Leigh-Ann
www.carradalearabians.co.uk
  |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
ambassador
Bronze Member
France
102 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2009 : 10:25:33 PM
|
 Just concentrate on all the caring vibes that you have received and handy tips, no one likes not to be able to share their passion in good or bad times, Try St John's wort it helps with sad gives you a bit of or a lift also take a real good look at your sig pic's and feel soooo proud. |
       |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Acorn Arabians
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2052 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2009 : 12:23:07 AM
|
Well, well, the first time you ever reply to a post of mine hooray!  Glad to be of help. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Delyth
Gold Member
United Kingdom
1425 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2009 : 07:40:27 AM
|
Oh Michelle I know exactly where you are coming from !! November is my month of doom - I hate it. I've sold some very good horses cheaply in that month  You do need to get some help. I'm so lucky I have Lindsay who does Sunday mornings in winter.... a lie-in !! And George helps 2 afternoons a week and is on call for problems. However with 15 including 2 'lively' 2 year old colts it's alot of work......and with my own 2 year old colt !! Have pm'd you..... just an idea !!
Love the idea about chocolate drinks - not sure if they would help but damn good excuse !!
Heads up everybody it's nearly March so if it's nearly March it's nearly April and if it's nearly April it's summer .... which in Derbyshire it clearly isn't but in my head this all makes perfect sense !!! |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Pauline
Platinum Member
England
3185 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2009 : 08:33:58 AM
|
For many years I did mine on my own.
Five horses and a journey of 12 miles each way to see them.I did this twice a day 7 days a week 52 weeks a year working full time and on call every other weekend and 2 nights a week. I never had a holiday.
I had in a dire emergency a friend down the road but she had 5 herself and works all hours to keep them.
I now have a livery that does them in the mornings (She is also away or leaves very very early in the morning to go to work some days, which means I still have to go out and do them.)
I am semi retired (plus Work 2 hours a day 4 days a week )but do have my elderly parents living with me (father is 90 and has had a stroke, mother is 85), who I have to look after.
Unfortunately we all have to get on and do what we need to do. We choice to have these horses and in this weather really do need caring for.
What ever happened I would never give them up.
Pauline
|
Pauline Higgs
Equine & Human Holistic Therapist
www.thegentlestouch.co.cc
www.endurancegbmidsouth.co.uk
Berkshire / Hampshire Border |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Tracey@ET
Gold Member
England
539 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2009 : 09:02:50 AM
|
I will join in and say yes this is a s**t time of year ............... and on your own to is horrid and if there gonna do something silly its when your feeling rough and your hands are about to fall off with cold ............ i also am feeling this, Jess is in America at the moment so no help and it seems never ending .................. the only thing keeping me going is show time will soon be here and hopefully some good weather this year ............ pleaseeeeeeeeeeez
So Michelle all your hard work will be worth it when your babies bring home the ribbons and it will be down to you. Keep the good work up
Tracey x
PS love your pics on facebook ......... your very talented |
  
www.el-tahira.co.uk |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
LOU
Gold Member
England
637 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2009 : 09:44:47 AM
|
Michelle,
where in essex are you are you far from mine in Rettendon Common?
Louisa |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
mittens
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2109 Posts |
Posted - 08 Feb 2009 : 09:46:44 AM
|
I also know how you feel.I lost my yard 2 years ago and just have the paddocks now with shelters.Mum has chronically bad knees (awaiting op) and she can't help like she used to other than preparing the beet etc for the next day.when we had the yard we opened the field gate and all four of them knew which stable to go into so Mum just had to close their doors.Now I have to get Zoey out as the others bully her but we seem to be adapting to the new routines.It is just so disheartening as I used to have my friends helping but one now lives in Leeds and the other I fell out with,still, the joy of having them still when it seemed for a while we might not be able to makes it all worthwhile but I agree that some hairy moments happen...Mum not nimble enough to leap out of the way so I usually end up in the thick of any tussles!!
But yes....spring is on its way!! |
Avatar
My Contact Info
nrisby@btinternet.com |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Topic |
|
Topic Locked 