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Merlot
Platinum Member
 England
3260 Posts |
 Posted - 28 Jan 2008 : 4:27:07 PM
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What does it mean if a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name........
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
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 photo by Eric G Jones |
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polly
Platinum Member
2183 Posts |
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Anfi
Gold Member
Denmark
1195 Posts |
Posted - 28 Jan 2008 : 5:34:37 PM
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Anne |
     
I Do What I Can and I Am What I Am - Fay Weldon |
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Judith S
Platinum Member
Wales
15686 Posts |
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
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Kirsty5278
Platinum Member
England
2682 Posts |
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bridie
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
2395 Posts |
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Zoe Tyzack
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4047 Posts |
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Merlot
Platinum Member
England
3260 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 1:20:19 PM
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If it was a case of only leaving the toilet seat up he'd be pillow free.......
It's the following and it's not an exhaustive list either....
Hanging his clothes on the floor in front of the laundry basket, no actually, it's hanging his clothes anywhere but in the wardrobe and he's actually got one, I didn't take them all which I thought was a very generous gesture.
He hasn't grasped that the toothpaste hasn't quite mastered the art of putting it's own top back on - I know, shocking isn't it. Funnily enough, his deodorant has the same problem along with the soap which will insist on not hopping back into it's dish when he's finished with it.
Asking me do I know where his specs are (do I wear them, no).
Asking me if I have seen his wallet/keys/mobile phone/passport.......nope, they aren't mine, so why would I know their whereabouts.
Consistently turning the garage into a real lifesize replica of Beirut/Hiroshima/downtown Basra.
Having the nerve to tell me he had to get up early cos I was snoring and I woke him up  . This is after listening to him snoring on Warp Factor 9 from the time I go to bed until I finally cork off at 4.00am or thereabouts.
Deciding he's going to cook (in his defence, he's a good cook) and giving me the big sigh-woe-is-me when he realises he's only got half the ingredients he needs. Apparently, I am supposed to be psychic/clairvoyant and know 3 days in advance what he's going to be cooking.
Whilst he's cooking, the kitchen always looks like someone threw in a hand grenade. It's the same after he's finished.
I've decided not to list the toilet habits for safety reasons.
I could go on........
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photo by Eric G Jones |
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unicorn leather
Bronze Member
England
229 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 1:33:12 PM
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LOL, poor sod!
Oz :) |
Traditional Working Saddler |
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geegee
Platinum Member
England
3682 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 1:35:35 PM
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Merlot,
I think I may be married to your husband too 
Sounds just like mine....and yet you ask them where anything of yours is! Have you ever asked them and been given the correct answer? I know I havn't.... I always know where his stuff is. Probably because I have tripped over it a thousand times 
Don't you just love 'em |
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Merlot
Platinum Member
England
3260 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 1:46:32 PM
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Oh God, don't tell me he's been cloned Lisa
I usually do know where his stuff is but hey, let him look for it . Well, he could if only he could find his specs....
Mmmm, yes, tripping over things like the TWO or THREE pairs of shoes he leaves lying in front of the back door so that when you come in and finally spot them, it's already too late because by then you are airborne and seconds away from headbutting the worktop. Sigh..... |
photo by Eric G Jones |
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geegee
Platinum Member
England
3682 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 1:51:13 PM
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oh yes, I have also viewed the worktop at close range due to stray shoes just inside the door.
Got another one for you......we have leather recliners. Bet you already know what I am going to say?
He leaves the seat and it is left reclined I wouldn't mind, it is electric so their is no real effort involved.
BIG sigh |
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Merlot
Platinum Member
England
3260 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 2:08:03 PM
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Thankfully we don't have leather recliners cos I reckon the scenario would be the same. He usually sits on the floor anyway (weirdo) and then whinges when he can't get up cos his back hurts.
Nice to know I'm not the only one who nuts the worktops.
Another one which has yet to be fully explained to me is that if I leave a light on anywhere, I'm wasting electricity but if he does it, it's only a "low voltage/wattage/teeny tiny insignificant" bulb and doesn't matter  I think that's the Double Standards Law......
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leezee26
Gold Member
England
1123 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 2:27:13 PM
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| WOW, I always knew my fella had a twin!!!! Glory be that Im not the only fed up Wifey here, I started to think I was at fault for being picky!!! Leighx |
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geegee
Platinum Member
England
3682 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 2:32:20 PM
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I think that I am starting to see a pattern here....
It's because us horsey ladies are so independant that we end up finding the opposite in our men....ones that we have to do everything for.
Mine is an angel really. He does have a lot to put up with, but I like having a moan about him sometimes Nobody is perfect, although he says that he is
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baxter
Gold Member
England
1123 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 2:40:25 PM
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Oh Merlot, you are so funny.....
My one.... here goes...
Complete inability to put any clothes away ever, when we first started living together, i put all his clothes he left on the dressing table/bed/floor in the wash and he moaned he couldn't find any clothes!
Butter, knife, crumbs, jam consistently left on chopping board.
Bracket for TV (which he couldn't put up in bedroom) has been in bedroom now (along with tools, i removed these after 3 months) for 4 months! Then quite quizzically one day asked why his drill was not in bedroom, like it had become part of the bedroom accessories?!
Allowing, ugliest dog in england (that's our precious huge Staffie) to bring in his stinky toy ring he has peed and pooped on and drags to the park every day and back and has also buried several times so it's turned from yellow felt into some brown and gooey colour into the house and onto the cream sofa, with cream throws and cream pillows, and then subsequently moans that on a Monday when he's out playing football and comes home to me in bed with Staffie (Ralph) minus stinky toy ring curled up on his side of bed..... mwa ha ha haaaaa!!!
Love him lots though despite his imperfections!!!
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Merlot
Platinum Member
England
3260 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 2:52:52 PM
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OMG they're breeding out there faster that I ever thought possible
Just had a Victor moment with him on the phone. Last night, he said he'd cook tonight and decided it would be Chicken in Lemon and Coriander - yum yum I thought, that'll do for me.
About 30 mins ago, the phone rings at work and the conversation was as follows......
Him: It's only me, did you remember to take the mince out ?
Me: Mince, what mince ?
Him: The mince for the chilli I'm cooking tonight.
Me: What happended to the chicken then ?
Him: What chicken ?
Me: The Chicken with Lemon and Coriander, remember ?
Him: I changed my mind, I'm doing chilli. So did you get the mince out then ?
Me: No, cos funnily enough my psychic powers have been temporarily interrupted by that satellite which is spinning out of control and rapidly heading towards your head.
Him: Eh ?
Me: Don't worry, the cavalry will pop round home and retrieve the said mince from the freezer and whack it on chaos defrost.
Him: Eh ?
I hung up. Heooowwwge masseeef sigh. |
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Porsche
Gold Member
1194 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 3:06:51 PM
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LOL oh dear, things are much the same with mine I'm afraid LOL
However he does ALWAYS put the seat back down
but clothes which are taken off to get into bed are dropped on the floor and stay there til I pick them up to wash them!
Then he calls down in the mornings and says
OH:have I got any clean socks?
Me: in your drawer...
OH: No, theres none in there...
Me: Well the washing basket is empty...
OH: Theres lots of washing on the floor up here...
Me: Oh?
OH: So have I got any clean socks?
me: ARGH! Doh! |
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
     
RIP Fuzzy Bear...Angela RIP......Legacy 1day old...............La Carrera.................Aisa and Bruce |
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Merlot
Platinum Member
England
3260 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 3:23:03 PM
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He he he,hahahahaha, seems like I'm in good company and comforting to know I'm not alone
Love him really, he's a treasure (shouldn't treasure be buried somewhere for pirates to find....) |
photo by Eric G Jones |
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mummypat
Bronze Member
England
187 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 4:33:20 PM
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| OH MERLOT; I KNOW IM GOING TO HAVE A GOOD LAUGH, WHEN I LOOK AT YOUR THREADS SO VERY, VERY FUNNY ALL OF YOU, I HAVNT HAD A GOOD DAY TODAY, BUT NOW I FEEL TONS BETTERN THANK YOU , ALL OF YOU, MEN ARE ALL CLONES IM SURE, |
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Merlot
Platinum Member
England
3260 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 4:50:41 PM
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| Aw Mummypat, sorry to hear you haven't been having a good day but glad we cheered you up a bit. Keep on smiling (it makes everyone else wonder what the hell you've been up to ). |
photo by Eric G Jones |
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geegee
Platinum Member
England
3682 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 4:58:11 PM
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Mine has just phoned to say he will be home in 50 mins and we had a discussion about what he fancied for dinner. I'm going through the list of what is in fridge/freezer whilst he is umming and arrring. Finally makes a decision.
Just about to put the phone down and he then says he forgot about a quote that he has to go and do and now doesn't know what time he will be back......put dinner on hold
Now I am left in the lurch as to what to cook and when to do it for?
Hmmmm can feel a takeaway coming on now! |
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Judith S
Platinum Member
Wales
15686 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 5:43:10 PM
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| Well I know now that I wouldn't swap my OH for any of yours - esp your Maureen - he is reasonably house trained (apart from the toilet seat!) & can cook, do the shopping............. |
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pat day
Moderator
United Kingdom
5324 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 5:56:27 PM
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You naughty lot.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TREASURES AT TEMPLEWOOD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pixie
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
6586 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jan 2008 : 6:08:56 PM
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| I blame the parents myself but mostly the women who bring them up - train your sons and then they will not do some other women's head in. lol |
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