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anne
Gold Member
England
877 Posts |
 Posted - 10 Apr 2007 : 10:26:17 PM
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Does any one feel like I do that this is wrong when that man agreed to put his sperm with this girls eggs to produce an embryo that this is the same as having s*x he could not after the event ask for it back or demand the pregancy to be ended
This is the only chance of this women having her baby, where as the man concered can have children with some one else.
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joanna_piana
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3935 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2007 : 10:38:37 PM
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| No if they are no longer together then I think he has the right to say he doesn't want to have a child with her - at the end of the day she isn't pregnant and there is no baby. Sad for her but it's about two people well three people really. That's my view. |
      
Harthall Rashida RIP, Binley Ishara, Bouchan
Chorleywood, Hertfordshire |
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anne
Gold Member
England
877 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2007 : 10:41:13 PM
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Sorry just realised in my rant that unless you have just seen the new you will not know what I am going on about
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6530295.stm
sorry but a friends daughter might have to make a similar choice in the weeks to come so it has hit a raw nerve |
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Dazzler
Silver Member
United Kingdom
290 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2007 : 11:06:46 PM
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Personally I think that the law on this is an ass. The embryos are in existence so he souldnt have a say. The "deed" is done. This lady did well to survive cancer so why should he deny her the chance of motherhood?
I think this so called man is being very cruel.
Another good reason why men should have their own planet!  |
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jaj
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4324 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2007 : 11:16:54 PM
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It must be very hard for the man as he is no longer in a relationship with the woman concerned and obviously wouldn't particularly want children when he may (or not) now be with someone else. BUT it is extremely hard for that poor, poor woman who not only has had to contend with cancer at a young age but is now faced with the prospect of never being able to bear children and her embryos to now be destroyed  . Very sad, a story with no winners whatsoever.
Jen
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Kuraishiya (Maleik el Kheil/Kazra el Saghira) and Sahara Bey (Kuraishiya/WSA Charismma) |
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heatherr
Platinum Member
England
1882 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 12:02:09 AM
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This one is a toughie. I really feel for her, but if he doesn't want his sperm used then that has to be respected. If it were the other way around, everyone would agree that the woman shouldn't have to be forced to have a child..... but I do feel on compassionate grounds they might have come to some agreement Like Jen says, no winners here |
Heather 
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akitamom
Gold Member
England
903 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 07:28:48 AM
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| If the man does not want to be a dad and pay for a child he does not want then why should he agree to her having his child,i can understand why she is upset but it takes 2,there is tecnically no child yet,i think he is right to say no.JMO |
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unicorn leather
Bronze Member
England
229 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 08:34:35 AM
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| Surely it is his sperm and he has the right to say no, Oz :) |
Traditional Working Saddler |
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lovehorses
Silver Member
England
390 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 09:10:28 AM
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This is a really difficult situation and I can see both sides. I'm just glad it wasn't me who had to choose.
As Heather said, there are no winners here. |
Trudi x
trudi.pelham@googlemail.com
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Michelle
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3197 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 09:11:49 AM
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It's a tough one. I always felt very sorry for her. In some ways you would be right to say that it's his sperm and he should be able to say no, but he already gave consent for the sperm to be created into an embryo, the 'baby' is really already made, just frozen in time, which makes it all the more heartbreaking for her.
She trusted him at the time, otherwise surely she could have had her eggs frozen rather than all embryos........ big shame.
I can see both sides but I still find him incredibly heartless. |
IIsis Arabians
www.iisisarabians.com www.ali-abbas.co.uk
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anne
Gold Member
England
877 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 09:24:56 AM
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At the time it was not possible to freeze an egg this is why it had to be embryos or nothing.
I can see the point of his rights but he agreed to the create a child in a way like a man donating sperm to a sperm bank
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 09:41:02 AM
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Although I see his point , they are still her embryo's too,( from her eggs) he has condemed them to die, why should he have the finanl say? I agree with you dazzler, men should have their own planet, preferably on Mars  No perhaps thats not far enough away, they will come back and meddle again (sorry boys just joking) |
   
www.dreamfield-arabians.com |
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Vera
Membership Moderator
United Kingdom
8652 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 09:48:54 AM
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Did anyone see her interview on GMTV this morning? Stupid woman said that she didn't believe in fostering or adoption  !!!! 
Vera and Dennis |
    
Hampshire |
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Grey Girl
Platinum Member
England
1554 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 11:14:09 AM
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All I know about this is the little I've heard on the news...
A hideously difficult decision for the law. Whilst I am very sorry for the woman, I also feel for a chap who does not want to support a child/children (as he would have to) or have one/several with a person he no longer has a relationship with. And suppose it was the other way round: HE wanted the baby/babies, SHE didn't? Should he be allowed to have the embryos implanted into another woman to have the baby/babies if the biological mother was the one saying no?
But... suppose it had been agreed she could use the frozen embryos with the father refusing permission. Could that mean, in the future, that a man could insist that his partner bore him a child, regardless of what she wanted? I mean, we have a dodgy precedent set up already with the rape of that Blood lady's dying husband to enable her to have a child by him. Technically that means the way is open for any dying woman to now have her eggs etc harvested without her permission, and body sexually abused, because her husband/partner decided he'd like children by her or have sexual activity while she was unconscious and dying. Granted, harder in the instance of a dying woman as you'd have to source a willing surrogate to carry said baby, but that is not an insurmountable problem, provided the bloke has money.
Either way, I'm glad I don't have to make these sort of decisions. I suppose the way forward is to say No Frozen Embryos in any instance - I know eggs can now be frozen but I understand that frozen embryos are more likely to survive and make a viable child. Tough on those in that position.
Grey Girl |
 Said the little eohippus, "I´m going to be a HORSE"  |
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abcoboy
Silver Member
England
464 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 11:37:05 AM
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I can see it from both sides ...
Woman - very lucky to survive cancer and sad that its her last chance to have children.
Man - how would you feel if your current partner/boyfriend/husband had done it previous to meeting you and his ex now wanted to have the child? I wouldnt like it .. |
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beau
Gold Member
United Kingdom
806 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 1:24:27 PM
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| Hmm is very difficult i also can understand both points of view however i do believe the right decision has been made, whilst it is awful that this woman has been thru so much surely it would be a breach of his human rights to force him into fatherhood against his wishes, not to mention that he would then be forced to support this child emotionally + financially. Also do think there are many children out there who need loving homes thru foster or adoption - think if she is desperate for a child she could go down one of these routes, |
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NUTTER
Platinum Member
England
2452 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 4:42:36 PM
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| This is a horrid situation all round, but from the selfish me thinking if i was now the guys new partner i would not want his sperm used, also if you watched on the tv and saw her she openly admitted she did not want to adopt, but wanted a child of her own, if you want a child, really want children you will adopt, my mum was adopted and i have great grandparents!!!! i do feel for her however there are several people involved in this situation not just him and her but both their families, if it had been passed imagine how much worse the hurt could be to so many other family members. |
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unicorn leather
Bronze Member
England
229 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 9:04:31 PM
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Isn't it on the same lines as a woman having a termination and the father wanting her to keep the child.
Works both ways doesn't it?
Oz :)
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Traditional Working Saddler |
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natntaz
Platinum Member
England
2919 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2007 : 10:56:24 PM
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| I think she should be able to use them as long as she is not going to claim anything from him. It is her only chance and i think she should be able to take it. I dont understand why he feels that she should not use them if he does not have to participate any further. |
   
Natalie Pix. Essex. Tariq ibn Radfan and Taroub |
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Cassie
Gold Member
England
781 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2007 : 01:47:44 AM
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This is a very difficult situation as I undestand it the embryo's have already been fertilized but haven't been implanted, so to mind they should be classed the same as if she was pregnant if they had been fertilized the normal way he wouldn't be able to make her have an abortion just because they have split up. If she didn't have the cancer she propably would have had babies the normal way would he have changed his mind then?
Christine |
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donna72_uk
Gold Member
England
1123 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2007 : 09:03:15 AM
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I think it is very sad
He has got the final word at the end of the day and she did say she didnt want anything from him.
I think its wrong that he has done this as they obviously loved one another at some point as he agreed to do this otherwise she would of just had her eggs frozen |
Donna
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