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Kazzy
Platinum Member
 England
3335 Posts |
 Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 09:24:35 AM
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Following on from yesterday about my Swirly, am getting really concerned now about her Kazbah, he is completely devastated and I dont know what to do, he is so upset being on his own I just wanted
some advice about it, if anybody else had been through the same.
He is stabled now with 2 other horses that belong to someone else,
theres no option at all that he will go out with them 2, one is 17.2
and she is ok, but the other is 16.2 and evil beyond beleif, he doesnt just bite them, he kicks hell out of them and why she wants
her young horse out with him I will never know, but thats another story. She said she would keep them in for a few days to help him and she has put them out his morning and they will be out all day.
I know he has to greive, but this little happy go lucky lad is devastated, I cant be with him 24/7 and last night he didnt eat his
feed he only ate half of it, he ate some this morning but his eyes
are just so sad it has broken my heart again this morning seeing
him like this, he knows she has gone but he doesnt know why, he doesnt know she was in a lot of pain, he just thinks she has gone and
thats the problem, I just wish they could understand
The vet said to give him acp but not give him it all the time, just
a couple a day, I am frantically trying to find somewhere else for
him because it is just not suitable anymore there, some people have
advised to get him a friend but I just dont know what to do.
I know he will get over it eventually and so will I, this is making
it ten times worse for me aswell seeing him this way.
Any advice would be appreciated.
janet
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Sunny Cheshire |
Edited by - Kazzy on 16 Feb 2007 09:26:26 AM
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Deboniks
Platinum Member
England
3776 Posts |
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Zan
Platinum Member
Scotland
3213 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 09:39:09 AM
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He will need a friend, either by you moving him to one, or getting one for him, but I don't think that would help at this acute stage. My poor Samantha has had to cope with the deaths of 4 friends, but the worst one was the first---my beloved old mare Rosa who she absolutely adored. Samantha had ha a very hard time before I got her and Rosa was like a mother to her. When Rosa was pts I had Samantha and also a rescued pony, Strider, who she was very fond of, but not in the same way she loved Rosa. Despite having Strider she was very depressed---when I let her out she went to Rosa's grave and stood over it the whole day without grazing for 5 days, and she ate very little in the stable. All you can do is be there for him and he will gradually come out of it. I would think he will be ready to meet a new friend after about a week, and that will help him as well.
In the meantime tempt him with carrots and stuff to keep his gut working, and take him for little walks in hand so you are doing something together.
<<<<<hugs>>>> to both of you. |
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geegee
Platinum Member
England
3682 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 09:40:36 AM
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Firstly, I am so sorry to hear your sad news.
I went through the same thing just over 4 years ago when our cob mare had to be pts. She and my old girl had been retired together and were best and only field buddies for about 10 years. My old girl was screaming her head off, weaving, box walking, off her food and sweating up.
It broke my heart and I tried to put her out with other horses but she just did not settle. I borrowed a horse to be stabled next to her and this didn't have much effect either. I was advised to ACP her, which I did and this took the edge off of her and after about a week she settled into a quieter grieving stage.
Two weeks later, I was faced with the borrowed horse being moved and I ended up buying Mishikin who was already on the yard and was being sold. It all happened rather quickly but she seemed to accept him really well and I wondered whether she knew the difference that I actually owned him.
This was my solution, but obviously all horses are different and just because you buy/loan another horse, you may not have the same outcome. I just couldn't rely on other people's horses and had to get another to be certain that she would not be left on her own.
I really do feel for you and the old cliche that time is a healer is so true.
Take care. |
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cassy
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3348 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 10:37:10 AM
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| If your in my area Janet your v welcome to have him here with my young Arab gelding, if i can help im DN19 area, i dont have a school but havegrassy fields with shelters and stables, mine are out day in eve, ive a 5yr old geld out 24/7 who is away at min but no bullies they are all soft as ever |
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Vera
Membership Moderator
United Kingdom
8652 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 10:40:36 AM
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Could you borrow an aged, kind mare to keep him company. Try a rescue centre and explain your predicament, or contact a Shetland, Welsh A type breeder and ask if you can borrow a mare. Might be worth a try.
In the mean time try and visit him as often as you can just to give him a pat, soft words and a carrot.
Vera and Dennis
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Hampshire |
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madmare
Platinum Member
England
2129 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 11:05:31 AM
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| We had this prblem whe YO's old lad, Jim, died peacefully in his stable from a heart attack at 35 years old ( he was 17.1hh cleveland bay x TB) and his friend, Rosie, now 36, went through a long period of grieving for him...they had been together for over 20 years. She had an azoturia attack, and before was a happy and healthy mare. She is now recovered...it was just time, and allowing her to get over losing her lifelong companion. Hugs to you and your boy, and just be there and let hm know you are hurting too. Sit in his stable and have a good cry if needs be...tell him you miss her too. He might just take comfort from that. |
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anne
Gold Member
England
877 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 11:08:40 AM
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First so sorry to hear your sad news
I had Tizzy and Ghost at home just the two of them so when I had to have Tizzy (29) pts Ghost missed her terrible he would wait on a morning for her coming out of the stable and would check around the field for her and I have to admit it was heart breaking to watch and I think makes the whole thing so much worse as not only are you grieving for your lost horse but worried for the remaining one.
I tried to spend lots of time with him I am lucky that he is at the end of the garden so could nip down lots and give him hugs. and slowly he did seem to accept she was not there or coming back. But I have to say he was still lonely and wanted someone to play with if I went in the field he wanted me to play tag with him.
Ghost was by himself for 3 months before we got Tara and we were lucky they hit it of straight away.
The only advice I would give is as others have said try and find a field companion for him but like yourself he will still miss his friend and need time to grieve |
    
..................................................................... Photo by David Evans |
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arabic
Platinum Member
England
4562 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 11:14:01 AM
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Nothing to suggest I am afraid Janet, just wanted to say how sorry I am. Must be heartbreaking for you watching the poor little chap but I am sure someone will suggest something that will help you and time in itself is a wonderful healer! Take care of the dear little man and give him a big hug from Freddie
Lots of love
Sandie |
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Sally Etchells
Gold Member
United Kingdom
738 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 12:13:21 PM
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Janet I'm racking my brains out trying to think of what could help him , Shatsie would have been great but he can't because of his leg, Milli's is another option but she's being shown this year so would only be available for a bit ... the other girls would probably bully him ... would he take to Darla ? I was turning her away for the summer to mature and grow so if you think he would and you want to borrow her and see how he settles thats no problem at all - it's just if you want another one so soon .... you know where we are if you need her ....
Sal xxx |
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Wurzel
Bronze Member
Germany
68 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 12:22:37 PM
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My two stallions, father and son were together for 15 years. The son was with his father when the father died. I never thought that Spider (the son) whould greave so much. I tried putting him out to play with geldings. He played but was still very quiet. I bought two yearing colts which are now stabled on either side oh him. They go out together every day and this has helped a lot.
He is still not the same as before and I think is still greaving, the process takes time. Get a companion and see how it goes. |
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Rozy Rider
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4545 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 12:29:16 PM
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Rose my coloured mare was areal problem when I had my second horse, Jess put down a couple of years back, Rose went out into the paddock to take a good look at the horse dead on the ground but it did'nt seem to sink in for her. She was looking everywhere for Jess, the old horse and now gone from the place.. It took three weeks before Rose started to settle down, calling and galloping around, although I'd quickly bought a replacent for the missing horse and that did help a little, although it was Jess, that Rose was after....in reflection, I think it would have been better to leave the horse lay on the field for another day, and let Rose stay with her there.....Even now, 2 years on she takes a good look at some horses when were out on rides, just to make sure it's not her missing pal.... and I thought it was only elephants that never forget.. Good Luck stick with it....you could try Bach resue remady, a few spots on a piece of bread in the morning and the same at night...
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Sue
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Edited by - Rozy Rider on 16 Feb 2007 12:32:21 PM |
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Fee
Platinum Member
2601 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 12:37:34 PM
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When my mare died suddenly last year her friend waited for her at the gate all day every day for almost a week  She just stood with her eyes fixed on the yard waiting to whinny to her. She had other friends in the field, but it didn't matter, Freyja was her best friend. I don't think a companion helps in the very early stages, but will later. He/she has to go through this painful part alone...just like us I guess
So sorry about your loss Janet, I do find it hard to read and respond to such topics as it's still so painful...
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Evie
Platinum Member
England
3513 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 1:15:22 PM
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Sorry I don't have anything to suggest, but I hope you find a solution and Kazbah is feeling a lot better soon.
xx |
Bristol |
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Kazzy
Platinum Member
England
3335 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 1:58:46 PM
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Thank you so much everyone for your advice and I have taken it all in. I have just been to see somewhere but it is a 20min drive, the
stables are fine and theres 5 other horses there one an Arab, but
the fencing is Barbed wire and I dont want that.
Having read all your responses and knowing him I think he needs time
to greive for his mum there, a dear friend of mine who breeds Welsh sec A's lost her beloved mare last night to excactly the same thing
but her mare's pedal bone had started to come through, she has said
even though he is upset, moving him this weekend might make him worse, he has a friend in Ellie the nice horse next to him but he hates her at the moment, he wont even go up to her, and he actually
went for her which is very unusual for him.
I have taken him out this morning for some grass and he dragged me
to where she died and started sniffing round and pawing on the floor,
I was so upset, I let him look around and then he walked away, its
just so sad, but he seemed a little bit calmer then and I took him
down the other lane for some grass.
I think he does need a companion but at this moment in time I dont
think its the right time, if you know what I mean. I am spending a lot of time with him brushing him and playing with him and I will
look over the weekend for somewhere else, long term it is not ideal
where I am, he has no intentions of letting other horses on so he
would have to go out on his own anyway and he is such a friendly
little fella and loves company then I am going to have to move him.
I would like to thank everyone for their concern and advice I really
really do appreciate it.
Losing your animals is traumatic enough but with the love and support
on here its made me feel I am not alone.
Thanks so much.
janet
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Sunny Cheshire |
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Fee
Platinum Member
2601 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 2:47:27 PM
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I think you've made absolutely the best decision. Let him grieve for his mum where they were together. You'll know when the time is right to move him on.
My friend moved her mare a few weeks later too, after the initial grieving process. It was the best thing, she made new friends and is happy again.
I sympathise, it's so traumatic to watch them pine
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Zan
Platinum Member
Scotland
3213 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 2:51:15 PM
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| I agree too---you are doing exactly the right thing---if you did anything new too soon it would stress him more. It is torture watching them grieve, but they have to do it, just like us. I bet you look miserable and lost at the moment too, and there's no quick fix for either of you. |
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LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
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Timberwolf
Gold Member
England
726 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 4:36:43 PM
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Hi janet,
This is so sad reading about you poor boy. Hope he,s soon feeling a bit happier.
Jackie. x |
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Libby Frost
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
4711 Posts |
Posted - 16 Feb 2007 : 5:53:28 PM
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| this is so sad it reminds me of when Rose lost her colt foal ,she grieved for him the agony in her face so plain to see, BUT it does get easier time is a great healer thank goodness,i like the idea of a section A/ shetland companion my Herb loves my friends 12.2 adores her totally!!but as you say you will know when hes ready.thinking of you both and sending my love keep us posted on the wee mans progress? |
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