| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Meggie-Lu |
Posted - 11 Oct 2013 : 2:53:11 PM
I really need help, after returning from my holiday horse riding in Spain, i have not stopped reliving the day my beloved Mouse passed away.
I don't no what's wrong with me, having a conversation over dinner about him i nearly burst into tears, thinking now i'm not sure how i didn't.
It's been a few years now, i thought i was over his death, but clearly i'm not.
|
| 13 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| kathleen |
Posted - 13 Oct 2013 : 4:21:58 PM
I lost Roxy nearly 2 years ago (at the end of this month) it still hurts i miss her and think about her the things we should be doing she would be 4 and a half now but it does get easier to remember to think about the good times as time goes on |
| Ari |
Posted - 13 Oct 2013 : 4:18:28 PM
Meg, Garnet's post is so true; I lost my old lady in January at 30, greatly miss her after 27yrs together but no trauma, shock, or anger at life cut short to get my head around just happy memories to look back on and the comfort of knowing she had given up not me. That is very very different grieving process to losing a treasured horse much younger.
I lost my first horse at 17 from colic and for a long time I just couldn't ride the same hacking routes with my new horse (30yr old mentioned above, how old am I?).
Your riding holiday took you on experiences (routes) that opened up very normal raw feelings that are better out than in and part of healthy grieving, you are doing good.
|
| Nichole Waller |
Posted - 13 Oct 2013 : 12:09:31 PM
Oh Meg I'm so sad to hear this. We had such a good time in Spain and we talked about Mouse a lot, maybe this is why it has all come back into your mind again. Owning and loving a horse is a very special thing.
Just face each day as it comes. Remember all the lovely times you had with Mouse and they way he brightened up your life and look at these with a big smile on your face rather than feeling sad.
Until you hear if you have got into Uni you can't think about another horses yet. Uni will cost you a lot of money and you will need all your time and energy to get you through your studies. There will be time after Uni for another horse.
Keep riding with your friend Penny and come and visit me whenever you want.
I'm still working on Damon about going back to Andalusia next year, I'll let you know as soon as I've got a 'yes'  |
| Quarabian |
Posted - 12 Oct 2013 : 12:18:48 PM
Going around in circles is a good way to describe what you are going through Meg. You think you have moved on and the feelings have subsided a bit only to have them right back in your heart, your throat and welling up in your eyes as if it was yesterday.  |
| Misshana |
Posted - 12 Oct 2013 : 09:37:45 AM
I lost my beautiful Arab stallion Crystal Raj 11 years ago this month. He was only 13 and broke his leg in the paddock - such a shock. I had depression afterwards and still grieve for him now.
I agree with others, having another horse doesn't replace but does give you something else to focus on. My other gelding kept me going and if not for him I would probably have given up at that time. |
| Esther |
Posted - 12 Oct 2013 : 08:59:15 AM
I don't know the answer as I'm pretty much still there myself to be honest - very up and down. But I just wanted to say that you're not alone and you are going through a completely normal grieving process xxxxxx |
| Vik1 |
Posted - 11 Oct 2013 : 10:02:54 PM
It can take a long time to get over a special horses death. I still cry about my old boy 8 years on. I lost my mare in july and I thought I was doing ok but now winter is drawing in its hitting me more and Im very emotional atm. By this time of year Im usually planning her feeding regime and worrying myself sick about her weight etc so after 16 years of this its very strange just now, but I know its just the grieving process...time is a healer and it isnt really very long since you lost your mouse. |
| Pasch |
Posted - 11 Oct 2013 : 9:46:16 PM
Meggie-lu like others have said it takes time especially since his death was so sudden and unexpected.Not a horse but I'm still mourning my cat who disappeared 2 years ago.If something happened to my horses,especially Pasch,I don't know how I could bear it.
And yes,SuziQ is right it's been only one year so it's still raw.
If I were you I would get another horse who could help you get over the grief (which doesn't mean you would forget Mouse of course!)as he would need your love and time,but that's a very personal thing so it could be too early for you.
Don't despair you will find the way to deal with it and do look for help if you need it |
| RUTHIE |
Posted - 11 Oct 2013 : 9:23:08 PM
Meggie-lu I lost my lovely Crystal Flash last November (he was only 2 1/2)....I often cry about him most days. How do you grieve for a lost beautiful Crabbet? It dosen't get better, just different. You move on somehow and treasure the time you had together. I have his brother, who was a very damaged young man. We have found a way to heal each other. I know how you are feeling but you do need to express your emotions to family and talk to them. |
| Sharea |
Posted - 11 Oct 2013 : 6:15:07 PM
Sorry to hear how upset you are Meggie-lu but as others have said it does take a long time to get over something/someone that you have loved, there's no shame in it. I think it's much worse when the bereavement is sudden as its so shocking.
You will never forget Mouse but gradually his loss will be easier to bear.
Talk to your family and friends so they know how you're feeling.
|
| garnet |
Posted - 11 Oct 2013 : 5:57:50 PM
Meggie-Lu, after I lost my beautiful Anglo-Arab Autumn Light it was 12 YEARS before I could speak about her without crying, and this was in spite of the fact that my other little darling, Vlacq Garnet, came into my life and gave me joy for the next 23 years. I find it easier to talk about Garnet because she was only 11 days off her 27th birthday and she had a peaceful end amongst her friends when her legs gave up on a sunny morning. Autumn was a shock as she was only 13 and died during the closing stages of surgery for a twisted gut. I was holding her front leg up throughout and I'll never forget it. It is very early days still for you and Mouse so don't feel there is anything wrong with you because you are still crying for him, and you are bound to feel his loss more keenly when you have just had a lovely riding holiday. xx |
| SuziQ |
Posted - 11 Oct 2013 : 3:41:01 PM
Meggie lou it was only last year, in some ways I'm sure that it feels like a lifetime ago but it is obviously still very raw and their are stages to greif and spending some lovely time riding has probably evoked memories of your time together and reminded you what you have lost.
Bottling up your emotions isnt good for you, talk about Mouse and try and remember the things that made you happy. |
| Goldenmane |
Posted - 11 Oct 2013 : 3:37:38 PM
Tell your family and friends how you feel, I think if you want to burst into tears then do so, don't hold back. Grief is difficult and we all handle it in different ways. If you feel you need professional help then see your doctor. You can always pm me and I'm sure a lot of other Arabianliners who will privately help. |
