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T O P I C R E V I E W
Miska
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 7:10:49 PM After loosing Ettie, I decided to buy an experienced allrounder...Of course heart ruled over head and I ended up buying a 5 year old ISH (sorry not an arab). I did go after two schoolmasters but one failed vetting and the other the owner wouldn't get back to me.
Some of you may remember Enys (the ISH) had an awful accident in the horsebox when we went to go pick him up. Two months later and he's healthy again. Over these two months i've been riding him and doing all manner of things. A few weeks ago we loaded him again for the first time with no problems. Then at the weekend we took him out in the horsebox for a ride and he was fantastic.
However I just don't feel happy on him, I don't enjoy riding him. I've always ridden arabs/pbas, so it was a huge jump to buy a chunky ISH. I lost alot of confidence with Ettie (she was young too but with behaviour issues that linked to her health problems). She jumped in the most bizarre way and refused often. SO when I went to try Enys I was over the moon when he just popped everything calmly and sensibly.
This afternoon I decided to do a little bit of jumping - i've done polework no problems. Well the teeniest cross pole he launched over with all four feet in the air. I know it's just a baby thing and I laughed at first...but then afterwards it unnerved me.
I don't really know what to do - I shouldn't have bought a youngster but when I tried him he felt right and ticked all the boxes (bar the 'experienced' horse box). I had Ettie before who was a youngster, so thought i'd cope. Now he just doesn't feel like what I wanted, he just feels so different to Ettie & Miska.
I could never sell him for what I paid for him, as he does bite sometimes (less and less though, think it's a result of his accident). He's the first horse I bought with my own money and i'm 23, so to me it was alot of money and i've spent quite a bit on him already.
He is a superb horse and will make an amazing RC horse, but I am just not sure I have the confidence to be the one to make him so...Two years ago maybe but I just seem to be so much less confident.
My mum is really frustrated with me at the moment, so I can't really talk to her about it. As we live at our own yard we don't have anyone more experienced. I have lessons but as I work full time I can only have one at the weekend. I had a long chat with my RI and she said that I should wait and see how it goes but I am not sure I will ever be able to cope. WHich is such a pain, as I can see his potential.
Sorry for the garble, am just so confused - I have never sold a horse, so I feel awful about even thinking about it and only after two months...I feel so stupid.
So as the title says...What would you do?
16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
Miska
Posted - 24 Mar 2011 : 3:09:07 PM I'm in Sussex. So if anyone knows anyone, let me know
I'm doing inhand work with him on the ground. We had a horsemanship lady out several weeks ago to help us with his biting, kicking and general grumpyness...she was really good and showed me things that will help the handling.
We had a small breakthrough today . After I had ridden him he was looking really relaxed and happy standing in the sun. So I stroked his face and he closed his eyes and leant against me, his bottom lip quivering. This is the first time he has shown any affection, even if it was sun induced .
I then turned him out and he waited with me rather than go up with his friends. I then walked up the field and he followed. It lifted my spirits alittle
pro1
Posted - 23 Mar 2011 : 9:33:55 PM i would take a stepback and build a bond on the ground first. Sounds like you've both been through a lot and just need a friend. im 25 and I hardly ever ride, never really have, my dad owned arab stallions while i was growing up and from the age of around 7 all iv done is ground work, well not even really 'work' just playing and enjoying their company. be patient with him, think of what hes feling like... a new place, new people. Once you have that connection the ground, you'll both be much happier and confident out riding.
Don't give up yet!!x
jamie
Posted - 22 Mar 2011 : 10:23:30 PM In my early forties I bought a four year old arab to learn to ride on -not one of my most sensible moves but it has worked out in the end we have had many issues, mainly saddle related, which has meant long spells out of work and it has only been in the past few months that I feel we have really gelled... I adore him and cannot imagine being without him I have had a lot of help and made some amazing friends on our journey - truly life changing your boy sounds like a sweetie - lots of good advice here from people far more experienced than me. You sound like a lovely and considerate owner and I wish you all the best - I think you will both be fine x
precious
Posted - 22 Mar 2011 : 1:59:30 PM Time time and more time. What area are in from? Having a youngster can be nerve racking but also so rewarding. If i had thought about it i would have bought a younger horse thats experiencing everything new as they appadt to you rather than me buying my mare that i battle with as she was broke and brought on completly wrong.
As far as the jumping if he hasnt done any before bar ground poles try lunging him over jumps that way he can get used to jumping them on his own finding his balance without worrying about the rider and balancing. Alot of horses tend to jump them huge to start with as they worried about touhing them. We use this method at my yard then when he is jumping them not pinging them you can give it a go or get a friend too.
Miska
Posted - 22 Mar 2011 : 10:55:02 AM Thanks everyone, I knew I could rely on the AL lot to make me feel better . I haven't really posted on here for a while, as no longer ride an arab, but you're all so lovely!
I do miss Ettie dreadfully, even though she was a nutcase...(I even had to install a handle onto her saddle in order to ride her). Having her definetly wasn't easy but she was a lovable rogue. Miska's still with me but retired now - she wasn't an easy horse either but she is the type of horse that would carry you to around the world if you asked her (obviously not now with her arthritus! Though she would probably try)
Mrs Vlacq - (Yes it is me who does lots of beach riding ) Your idea of a goal is sensible. I've always wanted to do a camp, so perhaps i'll aim for that?
I put up an ad this morning for a sharer, I think it will take a little bit of pressure off, even though I don't struggle with time - we went out at 6.30 this morning and boxed up to the forest and got back in time to get to the office .
Thank you all for your support.
Pasha
Posted - 22 Mar 2011 : 10:00:27 AM I agree with the give it time, but at the same time I also don't advocate either riding a horse you are scared of, or keeping a horse when it just isn't a right fit as you will both end up miserable!
I would give it a good 6 months and try to do fun things like others have said: hacking, le trec, pleasure rides are all great fun and fantastic for building the bond together - if you've got lost out hacking for a few hours, had to get on and off and rely on him to help you get home and you don't arrive back the best of friends, then I would say it's time for you both to move on!
I LOVE riding my Arabs - nothing in the world like it! I really think you get a connection with an Arab that you just don't get with other breeds BUT I also love love love riding the WBs, ISHs and now ponies (yes I am now a pony squisher lol) that I ride for others... it does take a while to get used to the different feel they give you and they're not so quick on the uptake, but it's equally as rewarding and pleasurable when you finally click
saddlebred
Posted - 22 Mar 2011 : 07:04:40 AM You are clearly still grieving for Ettie, and possibly even Miska. I think getting someone else to ride him is a fab idea. It really helped me when I was having confidence issues with Jazz. Same issue really - she just wasn't the same as Fayre who has some very big boots to fill. I decided it was because she was lacking Saddlebred blood so ended up buying a pure Saddlebred baby even though I have never ridden one! I am thinking when I get to break my Saddlebred in I may have the same feelings and will miss the Arab bit! Need to clone Fayre really
Give yourselves time and then if you do decide that he is not "the one" I am sure you will find a lovely home for him. ISH's are generally more sought after than our lovely Arabs.
Its early days and you have been through so much in that short time. You are amongst friends here and many of us have had the same feelings. Big hugs.
debs
Posted - 22 Mar 2011 : 05:50:53 AM I also think you need to give him time. I kept comparing Ali to my wonderful first arab... didn't mean to just couldn't help it. All in all it took at least a year, for us both. I thought he had settled in quickly as he was so confident, but I realise now that actually he hadn't, and he also wasn't as confident as I first thought... Dont pressure yourself too much, just relax and enjoy the summer. I'm sure he will win you over!!!
Mrs Vlacq
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 10:19:31 PM It's lovely having your own facilities, but it can make you a bit introspective, and hyper critical. But then busier yards have their downsides too... Could you perhaps set yourselves a little goal? Like taking him on a horsey holiday in the summer - doesn't have to be far (thinkig of the travelling hiccuo) or anywhere posh. But if you know a nice yard with hacking and friendly people you could arrange a few days in summer to share lessons and play out. You used to love the beach with the girls (I think?), so maybe make that your last day treat and 3 or 4 of you have jolly outing. Having someone else ride him might help too - good idea - share him with friends and instructors and ask them to be posisitve about him and to him...... it will rub off on you then!
Geena
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 10:11:39 PM As all the others have said give yourself time to gel. It took Zeb and I 18months to get an understanding of one another. He is still young and needs to enjoy life and if you don't have any pressure to go high up the showing chain this year then take some time and just enjoy learning about him and yourself rather tan feeling the need to compare him. We all do it by accident.
Callisto
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 9:45:32 PM Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and enjoy him - as everyone has said - it is very early days yet, and he does sound like a nice boy.
Miska
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 8:57:17 PM Thanks everyone, you've made me feel a bit better.
I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I do need to give him time but it's difficult summing up the confidence.
It's times like this I wish I was on a bigger yard with facilities and people who knew what they were doing. I was thinking about getting someone in to school him once a week just to help, but its finding someone who is experienced enough and local.
clio
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 8:35:59 PM You have obviously been through alot together already and alot of horses would have not got over what he has been through yet. He is still a baby give him and yourself time, go out and enjoy, have some lessons together. He sounds like a sensible kind of chap
Fee
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 7:57:09 PM How long have you had him? I defo give him more time if it's less than a year. I think it takes a full year to get to know them and them you. Also it sounds like he's had quite a lot to deal with with the accident and injuries.
Please excuse as I'm no jumper, but maybe lots of groundwork and pole work to build him up and train him?
Stick with him I say, give it time
pintoarabian
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 7:54:37 PM Agree with Mrs Vlacq. You are probably still grieving for Ettie and need time. The accident in the horsebox with Enys won't have helped how you feel. Hang on in there, take things slowly and one day at a time. One day, you will probably look back on your little wobble and smile. You sound like a lovely owner and he sounds like he needs someone just like you.
Mrs Vlacq
Posted - 21 Mar 2011 : 7:21:08 PM Definitely give him time - it will take months and months for the 2 of you to build a rapport. He sounds a real poppet and after summer of getting to know him, getting out to some group lessons and fun events (no pressure, just healthy friendly things) you will more than likely become inseperable. He is bound to feel different to E and M - and that's probably a good thing. Different breed, type, eventual goals. It will stop you comparing him to them too closely. Celebrate his differences. He is still very young, with all the basics in place, so you should learn from one another. He might just turn out to be the right horse at the right time. Chin up and keep working with the support of your RI go with the flow a bit, he is Irish after all!
. After I had ridden him he was looking really relaxed and happy standing in the sun. So I stroked his face and he closed his eyes and leant against me, his bottom lip quivering. This is the first time he has shown any affection, even if it was sun induced 
.
your boy sounds like a sweetie - lots of good advice here from people far more experienced than me. You sound like a lovely and considerate owner and I wish you all the best - I think you will both be fine x
go with the flow a bit, he is Irish after all!