| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Caro23 |
Posted - 19 Apr 2010 : 7:10:14 PM
I am having real problems keeping Dulcie in work this year. I am trying to work out the best thing for her - I have advertised her but feel physically sick about it. Realistically though she needs a more active home for her active mind. She's purebred Crabbet arab (kasadi x Lusinda) bred by Harwood Stud. She's 14.2hh, 10 and has low mileage competed to 42km and needs more. Currently open. She is adorable and very gentle on the ground but needs a confident calm rider. She loves work, works well on the flat. I am located on a fast road and she gets spooked - until this year she had been fine on the road but I worry and now she does so I have lost confidence hacking and she is getting bored. I have no transport of my own so I can't box her anywhere.
Does anyone know any trainer in Surrey who could help or have any ideas on what I should do - it's totally breaking my heart because I actually just want to enjoy a quiet hack after a stressful and very demanding job and I think she's suffering my lack of focus!
Any ideas would be great!!
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| 11 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Kelly |
Posted - 20 Apr 2010 : 2:35:05 PM
Caroline, I sympathise with you too. I felt very similar a couple of year ago, when Jack became a demon as a 5 year old. I felt like I couldn't handle it, and obviously, my nerves were passed onto him, I was a rubbish leader (in fact, no leader at all), cue vicious circle.
What was a turning point for us was a day with a friend, who taught me that I COULD handle him, even when he challenged me. His energy went right up, and I was freaked out..... and my friend made me persevere.....and his energy came right back down VERY quickly.
It wasn't perfect overnight, still isn't, we still have wibbles (last week!) but I am now confident that I can handle it. And then along comes a day like Sunday, where my beautiful boy, the former demon, listened to me and did NOT bolt when a dog belted up from behind us in attack mode, after a cat in front of us. I told Jack it was safe, and not to run, and he trusted me. That makes the hassle worthwhile.
It sounds to me like your lack of confidence (understandable) is making Dulcie worse.
Could you get an RA out for a morning to bring out the part of you that CAN do this? Because it's in there, believe me. 
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| Pasha |
Posted - 20 Apr 2010 : 1:56:32 PM
Oh Caro I feel for you! We've recently moved from direct access onto a bridlepath to a 1/2 mile hack down a very busy country lane too  It is grim I admit and I hate it, but luckily Shesky isn't fazed by anything.
Do you have a partner/friend who could walk or cycle with you down that bit, maybe going on the outside of you?
There are lots and lots of things you can try to chill you both out: rhythm beads for Dulcie (the more bells the better) and for you singing really helps (makes you breathe although the drivers might think you mad lol!), rescue remedy and smother yourself in perfume (so Dulcie cannot smell your fear). There are also really good breathing techniques - think it's called round breathing? |
| KittyB |
Posted - 20 Apr 2010 : 1:51:26 PM
Today's traffic (driver attitude) and rural roads just don't mix. I've found that wearing fluorescent clothing helps considerably in slowing traffic down - particularly a bright yellow quarter/exercise sheet - the type you see on Police horses. If you put one of those on your horse and wear a fluoro jacket yourself it really does seem to slow vehicles down and they give you a wider berth. A friend ties a piece of bright tape onto the end of her schooling whip and rides with it stuck out sideways. Drivers see the tape and give her the wider berth. Might just be worth a try. |
| Suelin |
Posted - 20 Apr 2010 : 1:36:03 PM
Caro23, I sympathise with the problems you are having regarding traffic and rural roads. This has caused me some angst as well. Is there anyone who would ride with you to bolster you up a bit? Would it help to lunge her before you get on to ride and then just ride in the field for a while so that you can learn to trust her again. Just go a short distance then and gradually work up to where you want to be. I know it's easy for me to say but I really do feel for you, you aren't on your own with your feelings about this kind of situation. |
| Caro23 |
Posted - 20 Apr 2010 : 1:25:28 PM
The amount of traffic is worse and faster - I have my own fields now which I love but the loaction is not quite as good. By the time I get half a mile down the road to the bridleway we are both in a state. Drivers keep hurling abuse at me for asking them to slow down. Its a 40 mile an hour and a rural road. Evene when I lead her she dances round. She is very full of herself at the moment and just doesn't seem to take any comfort from me. She isn't naughty at all just gets very very worked up and can't be calmed down until she goes back in the field.
I'm just not enjoying riding... I've waited all winter to ride and now even hacking is not fun anymore. Last year we only did one egb ride and weren't well enough prepared and now my job has become very stressful - the combination of the 2 of us is not good!! I just want to go for a plod at the weekends and chill  |
| Pasha |
Posted - 20 Apr 2010 : 09:01:18 AM
Caro, has anything happened to make you suddenly more nervous? Has Dulcie started spooking or has the amount of traffic changed?
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| Arachnid |
Posted - 20 Apr 2010 : 08:49:04 AM
Dont sell her! I've put Spider up for sale twice when I lost my nerve (more than twice) but really you do come through it and knowing that now, I wouldnt part with him (all being well). I saw you riding Dulcie at Beachy Head where that lovely photograph was taken. You have obviously done so much work with her to get her to float along like that. Could you get someone to hack with you on the nasty bit of the road or just lead her until you get to the safe part of the hack? I know from your other posts that you probably dont want to move yards to one with no road! Is she calmer in warmer weather? Lots of horses are a bit fizzy in the spring. One year I just didnt do much in that difficult period and then got on again properly when the sun came out. |
| natntaz |
Posted - 19 Apr 2010 : 10:09:57 PM
I went off riding a few years back, no fault of my old boy.
He is very good, but if not ridden would find everything to
spook at. I now ride him as much as i can each week and believe
me he is like the horse he used to be. He has all different types
of traffic and things around him and nothing bothers him. He leads
the way. My friends and there cobs all follow him. I had lost my
way with him. My life changed a bit last year and i thought i wanted
to start riding again and havent regretted a day. I ride out now
and think what am i going to do when he is not around i trust him
so so much. So please try if you can i am sure even if you could ride
her a few times a week out she will get better  Good luck |
| debsnboz |
Posted - 19 Apr 2010 : 9:53:03 PM
Sounds like you have got trapped in a vicious circle. Sounds like good advice above - even go on holiday somewhere together with nice brideways and enjoy nice relaxing rides!!!! Dulcie is Borris' half sister, also out of Lusinda at Harwood. I really hope you can get this sorted out as I feel for you. They are special horses............ |
| Sundance |
Posted - 19 Apr 2010 : 8:33:32 PM
Hi Carolyn,
Seems a shame to lose Dulcie after all your hard work. I think the solution would be for you and her to regain her confidence on the roads again. Or maybe send her away for a week or two to get her confidence back with traffic, it is often mind over matter, but maybe something happened to spook you both.
Best of luck,
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| Nedds71 |
Posted - 19 Apr 2010 : 7:23:50 PM
Have PM'd you  |
