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triple velvet
Bronze Member


Scotland

120 Posts

Posted - 22 Aug 2017 :  11:14:41 AM  Show Profile Bookmark this topic Add triple velvet to your friends list Send triple velvet a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I don't seem to be getting much enjoyment out of my horses at the moment, maybe it's the depression talking I don't know.
My horses live out 24/7 but have shelter for them to come into. They never go without, farrier every 5-6wks/ teeth done on a regular basis, they get whatever they need. I work full time 4 on 4 off 12hr shifts and I feel guilty for not riding as much as I should. By the time I have poo picked and all the other stuff that seems to need doing on my 4 off. I do get help from my daughter but I still feel guilty for not riding.
Now 6 yrs ago I had an operation on my kidney to remove a grade 3 cancerous tumour and it basically all went down hill since then. I found I was scared to get on incase I fell and hurt myself, my horse that I ride I have had since she was 9 months old she is now 10 and has never thrown me off since yesterday but that's another story. So I have no excuse to get on,. I did have lessons on her last yr and enjoyed them but found my shift plans difficult to book lesssons with my instructor then winter kicked in and that ended that.
Now yesterday I got on my Mare as I put my foot into the stirrup she spooked, I ended up behind the saddle!! She was bucking and I ended up having a flying lessson to which I have realised I don't bounce like I use to, I have hurt my bum and lower back.
I do not want to part with my horses as I love them to bits and love spending time with them, I just don't enjoy riding anymore. Is this cruel on my horses? I have put an advert up to see if anybody would like to come ride them and I am seeking some help with this.

Sorry for the long epic I just feel like poo at the moment. Thank you for listening


Edited by - triple velvet on 22 Aug 2017 12:02:25 PM
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Pasch
Platinum Member


2260 Posts

Posted - 22 Aug 2017 :  2:21:44 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add Pasch to your friends list Send Pasch a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi Triple Velvet.
First of all sorry for your health problems but it seems you're over the worst now.It is possible that they left you with some fear or uncertainty that could reflect on your riding.
Why should it be cruel on your horses if you don't ride them?? We often project our view of the world on them.I understand your horses have grazing and companions, a shelter, they lack nothing and you do manage time with them anyway even if it's not riding.I think they are perfectly happy with this.If you want to find somebody to ride them it's ok otherwise just enjoy spending time spoiling them.There's no law that says a horse must be ridden as long as their needs for space, company,food,care and shelter are met.
You might well find that taking a pause from the obligation of riding is what will eventually bring you back in the saddle again
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Ziadomira
Platinum Member

England
1613 Posts

Posted - 22 Aug 2017 :  4:43:26 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add Ziadomira to your friends list Send Ziadomira a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Pasch has given you some very wise words. We have one girl who came to us some years ago having had to be retired from advanced endurance. She has been happy doing nothing since then. Along with her friends she does what she likes and comes in when it is cold. If you feel that your horses need a bit of riding or in the future think you would like another go, get someone with experience in to get on first. It is possible that you are a bit nervous and your trepidation has worried your horse and made her wonder what there is to be frightened of. I can no longer ride but I enjoy having our girls. Riding is not everything, companionship is more important and they do live longer than dogs. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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triple velvet
Bronze Member


Scotland
120 Posts

Posted - 22 Aug 2017 :  5:30:52 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add triple velvet to your friends list Send triple velvet a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Aw thank you for you comments you have made me feel a bit better. I have already contacted somebody to come work them. I have 3 Arabs that live out happily. They don't go without anything.

Thank you x

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Rui
AL Admin


6761 Posts

Posted - 22 Aug 2017 :  10:36:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit Rui's Homepage Bookmark this reply Add Rui to your friends list Send Rui a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi triple velvet,

I have sent you a PM about the advert.

Thanks.

How to post flickr photos on AL | How to post photobucket pictures on AL | How to post facebook pictures on AL
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sab2
Platinum Member


8415 Posts

Posted - 27 Aug 2017 :  6:54:02 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add sab2 to your friends list Send sab2 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi Triple velvet, sorry you are having a rough time. I really do not think your horses will mind at all if they are not ridden, I know mine do not. I had a fall back at the start of May which I am still recovering from, I also had surgery on my hand in June which again I am still recovering from so mine have spent the summer not being ridden and they could not care less. I am just starting to ride now, well trying to but not every day. I will ride as and when I can and am hoping to start egb again next year or the yeAr after if that's what it takes. I helped today at an egb ride and felt sad I was not riding but know I am not ready yet. Like you I fo not bounce anymore and I had hoped to bounce back but no I have not but I am sure in time we will both be up and running again and if not we should not feel guilty if our horses stay in their fields for another year. Best of luck and please do not feel guilty, they are loved and cared for and that's what matters

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glo
Gold Member


England
1294 Posts

Posted - 02 Sep 2017 :  10:23:36 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add glo to your friends list Send glo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I know were your coming from,life and work just get in the way, I had a few falls and landed on my bum, it hurts like mad at first and took about 6 month to not feel the pain, riding was hard, it was a pain in the bum, friends thought it was funny!

Then I had to have my new mare PTS I was deviated, then about 2 weeks after that, was rushed in to hospital and almost died as I was so ill, then had to recover after surgery.

Since all that I feel nervous riding and not inclined to do it, I have returned a loan horse and sold 2 so only have 3 now, my old mare that I can hop on as and when and 2 youngsters. Just do what you can and don't feel guilty.

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Qui Gon Jinn
Platinum Member


Scotland
1627 Posts

Posted - 08 Sep 2017 :  3:30:58 PM  Show Profile  Visit Qui Gon Jinn's Homepage Bookmark this reply Add Qui Gon Jinn to your friends list Send Qui Gon Jinn a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi Triple Velvet, I totally get where you are coming from. I'm at the same sort of stage and I wonder if it's an age thing (I'm 49 coming up 50!)?

I lost my old girl nearly 3 years ago and since then I've not ridden very much at all, as I was waiting for my youngsters to grow up. My 5 year old went to be backed this Summer and came home a total joy to ride and deal with. I've ridden him off an on over the last month, but I have to agree with you that I don't really enjoy it that much. My confidence isn't great and I constantly worry about coming off him! He can be a bit sharp but he's really very easy going and a saint in most situations. I have a 3 year old who I know I'm going to have to go through all the same work level as my newly broken boy and I really can't face it. I really feel it is going to be better for us both to just sell him on as I just feel that I don't have the time or energy to deal with him in 2 years time.

I had a total hysterectomy in January and have been recovering from that and we have our own business and I don't have a great deal of spare time. We are in the process of expanding too, so time will be even less scare next year. I thought about advertising for someone to come and help me too, but so far I haven't. Problem is we live so far out in the middle of nowhere that the chances are I won't get anyone to come anyway!! I'm suffering badly from loan rider syndrome and it makes horse ownership a very lonely and difficult thing.

I hope you can get a resolve to your situation x

The Soul would have no Rainbow....If the Eyes had shed no Tears.

Edited by - Qui Gon Jinn on 08 Sep 2017 3:32:01 PM
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Sharea
Silver Member


United Kingdom
289 Posts

Posted - 19 Sep 2017 :  9:04:27 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add Sharea to your friends list Send Sharea a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I don't ride my horse but I love having her, I did try but my heart really wasn't in it. She has company and is well cared for, I do take her out for walks in hand and I think we both get a lot of pleasure from this. She is relaxed and happy. We also do a bit of horse agility in the field when the weather is good.
You will know if your horse is happy. I know there is a lot of pressure to ride but it's not for everyone.
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Ari
Platinum Member

1643 Posts

Posted - 19 Sep 2017 :  9:39:26 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add Ari to your friends list Send Ari a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Agree, all this " horse is wasted in the field" isn't a problem to a horse, they are happy with good care all seasons.
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triple velvet
Bronze Member


Scotland
120 Posts

Posted - 21 Sep 2017 :  1:52:31 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add triple velvet to your friends list Send triple velvet a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi and thank you all for your lovely comments. I think I was just at a bit of a low when I typed out my bit of a cry for help, as I see it.
Well I think when my Mare bucked me off she obviously did me a favour as I went to my doctor and now having a good chat to somebody about my issues. Issues created by my previous cancer operation. I think she was also telling me she wasn't ready to be ridden as she must of still been sore from her shoulder pain ( I did get the all clean to get on her from the physio, and she wasn't lame.)
Said mare is now lame again with shoulder pain!!
To anybody else readying this that feels a little low, please don't blame yourself, take some time out and talk to somebody. My horses mean the world to me and my life would be empty without them. Bless em. I'm going to give the horses a holiday till after winter and then start again. I have a lovely woman who I have on stand by for when I do get on again as I don't want to cause my Mare anymore pain.

Thank you again and bles you all xx


Edited by - triple velvet on 21 Sep 2017 1:53:10 PM
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Sharea
Silver Member


United Kingdom
289 Posts

Posted - 21 Sep 2017 :  5:54:48 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add Sharea to your friends list Send Sharea a Private Message  Reply with Quote
So glad you're feeling happier, it does you good to talk!
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Ari
Platinum Member

1643 Posts

Posted - 21 Sep 2017 :  9:36:45 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add Ari to your friends list Send Ari a Private Message  Reply with Quote
As we get "more mature" we do indeed struggle with confidence. I prefer to think it's more that we have so much more experience and understanding our horses. Looking back when when I was 25 I gave no thought of danger setting out on my just broken bonkers 4yr old Arab lady. We had a great partnership for 27yrs.
We got Ari at 18mth, loved him fed him, did all his walking out and so enjoyed seeing him grow. To cut the strong short, my daughter did the hard yards starting him. I really couldn't have done it however she always said "mum he's safe". My boy has been my inspiration from when I first sat on him to now, he's 13 and I'm 58. I appreciate so much that I can x
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pinkvboots
Platinum Member


United Kingdom
3284 Posts

Posted - 05 Oct 2017 :  7:42:36 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this reply Add pinkvboots to your friends list Send pinkvboots a Private Message  Reply with Quote
horses don't care if there not ridden, I would just give yourself a break and see if you feel like riding again in the future.

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