| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
|
Nikkisian89
Silver Member
 England
292 Posts |
 Posted - 25 Jun 2009 : 6:00:44 PM
|
My mother is disabled; can't weight bear or hardly do anything without help from carer's. We've had an Arab gelding for over 6-years but i totally lost interest and tried to sell him earlier this year but my mum refused at the last minute of him nearly being sold and sorted it out with some girl to look after him. The girl is meant to be paying £10 a week. She gets full use of the gelding like it's her own and he's a bit of a 'project' for her as he was unbroken. But she's gone weeks without paying, to the point she's owing almost £100. Whenever my mum tries to phone or text asking for the money, the girl never answers or doesn't reply. Instead she sends some snotty texts, and to cut a long story short she said she won't be able to afford him after this Thursday.
I'm absolutely fed up with the fact my mum wants to keep him when she can barely afford him, i mean there's not even food in the cupboards, i have to buy my own, coz she's paying out for a horse she can't do anything with! He's a gorgeous horse and he has so much potential but unfortunately he's not worth a lot due to a scar but obviously home is more important than price. I just can't believe how selfish my mum is being, she'd rather him be in a field all day for as long as she can have him than sell him to a good home, especially when she can hardly even afford him.
Sorry for the ranting essay but i'm just sooooo annoyed and what makes it worse is someone was coming up to see him tonight but cancalled saying they prefer a mare instead. So i just don't know what to do. My mum simply can't keep him but she can't see it!! 
|
|
Report to moderator
|
|
|
LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
Posted - 25 Jun 2009 : 6:48:41 PM
|
Nikki , this horse obviously means a lot to her and she sees that he is her responsibilty, the fact that you lost interest doesnt mean she has!
I am trying to see your point of veiw as well as hers and most importantly the horses .
you say you have a girl who is supposd to be looking after him , yet she has to pay you £10 per week?. wouldnt it be better to let her have him on a full loan basis, so that he doesnt cost your mum anything to keep but mum still owns him? ? sorry if I am sounding negative to what you want to hear, but I am reading here that it is you that does not approve of your mum having this boy when she clearly does want to keep him, (bless her) |
   
www.dreamfield-arabians.com |
Report to Moderator  |
|
|
Nikkisian89
Silver Member
England
292 Posts |
Posted - 25 Jun 2009 : 7:21:07 PM
|
The girl said she can't afford him and that was only on £10 a week. Tbh anyone could afford that if they really wanted something. Plus she said my mum's horse isn't her type of horse. I think she just saw him as a project.
Yeah my mum loves the horse to bits, i used to as well but i found it way too expensive and time consuming, i just lost interest i suppose, but i do still have a soft spot for him. It just frustrates me that the girl was taking the p!ss basically, not paying my mum for weeks and ignoring her calls etc. And she was very rude to my mum which really annoyed me. It's like she was taking advantage coz my mum is in a wheelchair. I just think the horse deserves better than just been stuck in a field all day.
I do feel extremely sorry for my mum, i can't imagine what it's like being in her position but she's so stubborn. I know deep down she knows she's best to sell him. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
jacki
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
1988 Posts |
Posted - 25 Jun 2009 : 8:06:51 PM
|
have you tried advertising him on full loan? then the loaner has the bills and the fun but you could tale your mum to visit him regularly. People are rude! especially where money is involved. Maybe your mum sees selling her horse as finally admitting she is phisically impaired! Dealing with something daily and accepting it are 2 seperate things.
Yes horses are expensive and time consuming BUT and its a big but They get in your heart and parting with them kills you! Cut the loaner loose as there is bad feeling. Let him live in the field over summer he wont cost much and try to find someone to really help him (put an add on here) once he is settled and happy and your mum has visited and seen for herself maybe she will agree to sell maybe she wont but you need to appreiceate your mums point of veiw from what youve said your mum is physically diabled not mentally so respect her and you may find it all less stressful.
Saying all that i realise organising it is all stress for you, so make sure you look after yourself too. |
sittingbourne kent |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Zan
Platinum Member
Scotland
3213 Posts |
Posted - 25 Jun 2009 : 8:22:47 PM
|
Having to buy your own food doesn't sound like a huge hardship to me. I think you'll find most people do You should learn from your mother--she clearly realises that "losing interest" in an animal doesn't alter the responsibility you have towards it. Finding a good home to sell any horse to is not as easy as you seem to think---especially a 6/7 year old unbacked one, and especially in the present economic climate, when we have seen from other threads here that fabulous, well trained horse with great bloodlines are landing up at auctions.I seem to recall from earlier posts when this horse was the love of your life that he is rather difficult, so perhaps it is no surprise that this other person didn't fancy the "project" any longer.
It sounds like your mother has already got enough problems so please try to support her in this. It would be great if you could find a permanent loan home for him, with a proper contract, and be prepared to check on him regularly to make sure all is as it seems. He doesn't sound like an easy horse to place, so I wish you luck. In the meantime, your mother is behaving responsibly keeping him, rather than getting rid of him to the first person to come along.You should be proud of her. |
    |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
kimzi
Gold Member
865 Posts |
Posted - 25 Jun 2009 : 8:37:54 PM
|
Hi Nikki
I take it that you are still very young. Yes horses take up vast amounts of time and money when you have many of them, but sacrificing an hour a day and a tenner a week is'nt so hard if you wnat to help your mum and give her piece of mind, after all what is a tenner if you really wanted something . You're mum sounds like a loyal and responsible person, after all ponies are not throwaway objects. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Eeyore
Gold Member
1181 Posts |
Posted - 26 Jun 2009 : 10:10:06 AM
|
I don't understand why he isn't worth a lot just because of a scar? Is it a really bad one or something?
If he has a few issues maybe your mum is worried about the sort of home he might go to so is reluctant to part with him?
Have you thought about advertising him on a website like project horses on a full loan basis? Or maybe contacting a Monty Roberts RA who could appraise him honestly and help you find a good 'project' home for him.
Try not to be frustrated with your mum, maybe he is something beautiful in her life that she doesn't want to lose. |
Heléna
   |
Edited by - Eeyore on 26 Jun 2009 10:12:36 AM |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
lottieherts
Silver Member
England
344 Posts |
Posted - 26 Jun 2009 : 11:34:37 AM
|
I can see its hard for you as you don't have any interest in him, but he obviously means a lot to your Mum and given the fact she is physically incapacitated he may be doing the orld of good for her soul, sSomething hard to express. I know times are tough and I have had to make some heart wrenching decisions over my Arabians in the past. I don't envy you, but you are not emotionally attched to him, so that might devalue him in your mind.
Try putting him up for loan, he is young and I am sure someone would love to have him, just because he does not bring anything to your life does not mean he won't bring happiness to someone else's life. Also if he is loaned out, your Mum can be rest assured she will still have some responsibilty over his life and future and will probably be much happier for the fact he will be doing something. Selling a horse is very final and she clearly is not ready to let him go.
I know life is full of do-gooders offering their words of wisdom, and its easy for people to judge, but do try and give him a chance to have a good loan home, I am sorry I cannot help you myself and don't know anyone that would take him for you. In terms of advertising costs, I think horse mart is quite reasonable, I know this website has lots of success too or a card at a local tack shop/feed merchant could work too and are normally very inexpensive. I am certain someone would welcome the opportunity to share their life with him. Good luck, please try and keep positive, its amazing what can be achieved just being positive about things. |
|
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
sazzlepants71
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
3536 Posts |
Posted - 26 Jun 2009 : 12:59:28 PM
|
hi nikkiyou have posted this on here as I can see you are desperate for help and frustrated.
firstly you say you have had this lovely horses for 6 years now was he originally purchased for you or you mum to enjoy or more importantly both?
perhaps your mum may have friends in the horsey world that can help you? maybe they can recommend a place for him to be on loan where you can visit him regulary?
I think you would both gain so much from seeing him out and about in the world and be proud to say thats my horse isnt he wonderful!
its very very hard to let go..not just of the horse..but to the way of life that this arab represents- you have to think of that.
so yes maybe she is being a little selfish, but it often goes a lot deeper!
you obviously love your mum and want to help - there are many caring people on this site that can help you in the right direction-
dont give up!
keep talking - I always make a list when i am in a 'difficult' situation - sit down and write the good points of having your boy- and then the bad points..its hard but honest!
hopefully it will be another step to a sensible solution - keep us updated goodluck xx |
   |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
kofihorse
Bronze Member
241 Posts |
Posted - 28 Jun 2009 : 7:48:15 PM
|
Don't mean to be rude, but I think if you asked most horses, they would say they are generally more than happy to be "just" well-loved field ornaments.
I really feel for your mum and think she is trying to do her best by her horse and for herself at the same time. It must be heartbreaking for her to think she hasn't got the support she needs to keep him. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
precious
Platinum Member
England
2253 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2009 : 12:31:29 PM
|
Very hard, your mom obviously loves this horse very much and good on her for not wanting to part with him, The way the horse world is at the moment far too many are ending up in nasty homes ending up on the lorry to know where.
Good advice off others on here, advertise for loan try on AL in homes offered where your mom stil has control over his future and can check on him x
Keep chin up x
|
     
Gemma Thompson
Birmingham West Midlands
|
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Joto
Gold Member
855 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2009 : 3:43:20 PM
|
| I have 4 field ornaments, very occasionally a couple of them are ridden round the village 2 miles max. otherwise they are simply fed and groomed,cuddled and rugged. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Nikkisian89
Silver Member
England
292 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2009 : 2:42:59 PM
|
Thanks for the replies everyone.
My mum sold Aldazi on Saturday night. He went to some young lady who only lives about 20 mins away. She was origonally going to buy him for her sisters birthday present, but because of his scar, she said she's not sure if her sister would like to take a horse with that type of scar on. But the young lady fell in love with him and wanted him for herself. She has her own stables and fields, her whole family have horses, and Aldazi has settled in fine with 2 ponies as his friends. It sounds like he has a home for life, and although my mum was very sad, she's happy he's in a good home. |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
Pasha
Platinum Member
England
3622 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2009 : 3:29:03 PM
|
| So pleased for Aldazi and your mum that he has found a good home x |
    |
Edited by - Pasha on 30 Jun 2009 3:30:17 PM |
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
precious
Platinum Member
England
2253 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2009 : 3:47:07 PM
|
At least he is local where your mom might be able to visit.
Hope your mom feels better soon about selling him, shame it came to it tho. some things are meant to be
|
Gemma Thompson
Birmingham West Midlands
|
| Report to Moderator |
|
|
LYNDILOU
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
13976 Posts |
|
|
jacki
Platinum Member
United Kingdom
1988 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2009 : 10:04:13 PM
|
| glad its worked out. maybe your mum can visit occasionally which will help too. |
sittingbourne kent |
| Report to Moderator |
|
| |
Topic |
|
Frustrating situation!!
